"I know there is a God, and that He hates injustice and slavery.
I see the storm coming, and I know that His hand is in it.
If He has a place and work for me—and I think He has—I believe I am ready."
~ Abraham Lincoln

Hi all,

I went back and forth on what to include in this newsletter and ended up settling on the two pieces below.  The first because it's Promotion Day!!!  And the second because it's way, way too topical for us JABB@YG folks to ignore.

I hope you enjoy and you'll be hearing from me again in a couple weeks!

God bless,


On April 26th we celebrate Andrew's promotion from caseworker to angel of death since he was promoted on April 26th, 1865.  The Dyelanders are celebrating with a garden party this year.  Something tells me Andrew'll end up with a few gifts.  But here's a list of things no one should ever, ever get Andrew on this very important anniversary. 

Top Ten Worst Promotion Day Gifts Ever

10.  A CD of the 1991 Original Off-Broadway Cast of the musical "Assassins."  Sure, it may feature some stellar talent.  And maybe many of us do like Victor Garber's singing.  That doesn't mean Andrew wants to hear him sing a few rounds of "The Ballad of Booth."

9.  Yeah, same goes for the 2004 Broadway Revival Cast album of the same.  I don't care how much you enjoy Neil Patrick Harris.  (Lots!)  This is WRONG.

8.  Stick on sideburns.  Andrew did look quite cute with the real deal in "Beautiful Dreamer" but let's not be tacky.

7.  A penny.  Yeah, it's got Lincoln on it.  Cute.  But, seriously, I know we're facing some hard financial times but... a penny!? 

6.  Anything linking the words "John Wilkes Booth" and "hero."  Seriously, it's frightening what I found doing a Shopping search on Google...  Somewhere Andrew is weeping...  And I'm going to find him and hug him.  Don't worry, you can all
come with me.

5.  This.  For those of you who may read this months or years later when the link may very well be broken, it's one of those stress ball you squeeze.  Cept it's shaped like, you guessed it, Abraham Lincoln.  I'm gonna guess that Andrew doesn't think squishing the hat and face of his first assignment as an AOD is a very respectful means of eliminating stress.

4.  Not this either.  *Maybe* it's okay.  But something about that little guy freaks me out.

3.  A trip to Lincoln, Nebraska in honor of his first assignment as an AOD.  Sure, I may have listed this as a good Promotion Day gift last year but let's think about this, shall we?  I live about 45 minutes away from Lincoln.  I am admittedly obsessed with Andrew.  Do you really want to give Andrew a Promotion Day gift that would eventually include yours truly showing up and throwing myself at him?  Cause I totally would.  I have been at this Androoler thing for a dozen years now!!!  Proper etiquette and self-restraint flew out the window a long time ago!  So, please, no trips to Lincoln.

2.  Tickets for balcony seating during a performance of "Our American Cousin."  Seriously, what the heck is wrong with you!?! 

1.  An Abraham Lincoln costume.  Sure, it sounds innocent enough.  And maybe it is on its own.  But what could make it the worst Promotion Day gift ever?  The accompanying Mary Todd Lincoln costume you intend to keep and wear.  Seriously, that's just twisted.  You need help.  Or maybe I need help for thinking this up...  HELP!

None came.  Oh well.  Happy Promotion Day! 


It seems that we at the JABB YG have had more than our fair share of email and Internet issues of late.  Thankfully, as of yet no one has ended up totally cut off.  But what if you were?!?  Terrifying thought, right?  Well, just follow the directions below to make yourself your very own...

Stuck JABBless Survival Guide

1.  First, you're obviously going to need photos of Andrew, Adam, or whatever other Dyeland guys you're attached to.  So pick a few favorites and make yourself a lil booklet.

2.  But swooning over pics of our fav guys just isn't as much fun when you're alone!  So choose a stuffed animal or doll to represent each JABBer you regularly communicate with.  I request that I be represented either by a plush frog or a Barbie doll desperately clinging to a disinterested long-haired blonde Ken doll.  Nicole would like to be represented by a bottle of Mountain Dew or, alternately, a picture of an iPod or CD case.  And for Yvette just prop up a teddy bear and you're good to go!

3.  Course, it's not as much fun when we can't actually talk to you.  So why not make one of those lil paper fortune teller things popular among the grade school set?  You can find a description and directions here with more on the links at the bottom.  Cept, instead of fortunes, put favorite phrases of each of us.  You'll need 8 per person so mine might be something like this:
    1.  Love the lovely angel.
    2.  Crikey.
    3.  What the flip was that about!?!
    4.  Aww.
    5.  12 years!!!
    6.  Probly.
    7.  I want Andrew...
    8.  God bless

Or for Nicole:
    1.  Sniff.
    2.  Love the lovely [insert one of Andrew’s many lovely features or descriptions!]…
    3.  I need some Mountain Dew.
    4.  Talk to you later!
    5.  I need an Andrew
    6.  That so rocks!
    7.  Sigh…
    8.  Poor Andrew… (or insert almost any other name!)

Or for Yvette:
    1.  Oh bother
    2.  Andrewkins
    3.  D-uh
    4.  Mwahahaha
    5.  Yeah, right
    6.  Namasté
    7.  Luscious angel boy
    8.  Whatever...

Just do your thing with the paper fortune teller and it'll be like you're really talking to us!

4.  At some point you may start to miss Dyeland and writing to the people there.  So here's a novel idea: write them letters.  Honest to goodness paper letters!  Then you can either scan them when you get back online or snail mail them if you happen to know the author's address.  Think of how exciting/weird that'll be for them!

5.  Pop in a mixed CD of songs from our still in progress JABB play list.  Just try not to get too depressed cause, whew, some of those are awfully angsty!

6.  And there's this idea from one of our newest JABBers, Heather: "Try to fit Andrew into other fandoms.   You've already done that quite a bit with Beauty and the Beast, Moonlight, and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (though that's mostly bringing them to Dyeland, rather than Andrew to them), but there are far more movies, books, and TV shows out there.  For example, for anyone who's read the Harry Potter books, Harry ends up almost dead something like five different times in the first book alone.  How might Harry, and thus the rest of the books, change if Andrew had shown up at each of those times?"

7.  Finally, take a deep breath.  Relax.  I'm sure the Internet will come back soon.  If not, send a messenger pigeon to me and I'll get Andrew and his baseball bat and we'll threaten your ISP until they fix things.  Cause no one wants a bat-wielding angel of death and his crazily unrequited admirer showing up at their workplace.  Bashed puters and sap every where!!!

Have another idea?  Contact me before May 6th and I'll add it!  Big thanks to Heather, Nicole and Yvette for contributing!


JABB 246

(The photographs used on this page are from "Touched by an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline Productions, and Moon Water Productions.  They are not being used to seek profit.)