"I know there is a
God, and that He hates injustice and slavery.
I see the storm coming, and I know that His hand is in it.
If He has a place and work for me—and I think He has—I believe I am
~ Abraham Lincoln
I went back and
on what to include in this newsletter and ended up settling on the two
pieces below. The first because it's Promotion Day!!! And
the second because it's way, way too topical for us JABB@YG folks to
I hope you enjoy and you'll be hearing from me again in a couple weeks!
On April 26th we celebrate Andrew's
promotion from caseworker to angel of death since he was promoted on
April 26th, 1865. The Dyelanders are celebrating with a garden
party this year. Something tells me Andrew'll end up with a few
gifts. But here's a list of things no one should ever, ever get
Andrew on this very important anniversary.
Top Ten Worst
Promotion Day Gifts Ever
10. A CD of the 1991 Original
Off-Broadway Cast of the musical "Assassins." Sure, it may
feature some stellar talent. And maybe many of us do like Victor
Garber's singing. That doesn't mean Andrew wants to hear him sing
a few rounds of "The Ballad of Booth."
9. Yeah, same goes for the 2004 Broadway Revival Cast album of
the same. I don't care how much you enjoy Neil Patrick
Harris. (Lots!) This is WRONG.
8. Stick on sideburns. Andrew did look quite cute with the
in "Beautiful Dreamer" but let's not be tacky.
7. A penny. Yeah, it's got Lincoln on it. Cute.
But, seriously, I know we're facing some hard financial times but... a
6. Anything linking the words "John Wilkes Booth" and
Seriously, it's frightening what I found doing a Shopping search on
Google... Somewhere Andrew is weeping... And I'm going to
and hug him. Don't worry, you can all come with me.
For those of you who may read this months or years later when the link
may very well be broken, it's one of those stress ball you
squeeze. Cept it's shaped like, you guessed it, Abraham
Lincoln. I'm gonna guess that Andrew doesn't think squishing the
hat and face of his first assignment as an AOD is a very respectful
means of eliminating stress.
4. Not this
either. *Maybe* it's okay. But something about that little
guy freaks me out.
3. A trip to Lincoln, Nebraska in honor of his first assignment
AOD. Sure, I may have listed this as a good Promotion Day gift
year but let's think about this, shall we? I live about 45
away from Lincoln. I am admittedly obsessed with Andrew. Do
really want to give Andrew a Promotion Day gift that would eventually
include yours truly showing up and throwing myself at him? Cause
totally would. I have been at this Androoler thing for a dozen
now!!! Proper etiquette and self-restraint flew out the window a
time ago! So, please, no trips to Lincoln.
2. Tickets for balcony seating during a performance of "Our
American Cousin." Seriously, what the heck is wrong with
1. An Abraham Lincoln costume. Sure, it sounds innocent
enough. And maybe it is on its own. But what could make it
the worst Promotion Day gift ever? The accompanying Mary Todd
Lincoln costume you intend to keep and wear. Seriously, that's
just twisted. You need help. Or maybe I need help for
thinking this up... HELP!
None came. Oh well. Happy Promotion Day!
It seems that we at the JABB YG have had more than our fair share of
email and Internet issues of late. Thankfully, as of yet no one
has ended up totally cut off. But what if you were?!?
Terrifying thought, right? Well, just follow the directions below
to make yourself your very own...
1. First, you're obviously
to need photos of Andrew, Adam, or whatever other Dyeland guys you're
attached to. So pick a few favorites and make yourself a lil
2. But swooning over pics of our fav guys just isn't as much fun
when you're alone! So choose a stuffed animal or doll to
represent each JABBer you regularly communicate with. I request
that I be represented either by a plush frog or a Barbie doll
desperately clinging to a disinterested long-haired blonde Ken
doll. Nicole would like to be represented by a bottle of Mountain
Dew or, alternately, a picture of an iPod or CD case. And for
Yvette just prop up a teddy bear and you're good to go!
3. Course, it's not as much fun when we can't actually talk to
you. So why not make one of those lil paper fortune teller things
popular among the grade school set? You can find a description
and directions here with
more on the links at the bottom. Cept, instead of fortunes, put
favorite phrases of each of us. You'll need 8 per person so mine
might be something like this:
1. Love the lovely angel.
3. What the flip was that about!?!
5. 12 years!!!
7. I want Andrew...
8. God bless
Or for Nicole:
2. Love the lovely [insert one of Andrew’s
many lovely features or descriptions!]…
3. I need some Mountain Dew.
4. Talk to you later!
5. I need an Andrew
6. That so rocks!
8. Poor Andrew… (or insert almost any other
Or for Yvette:
1. Oh bother
5. Yeah, right
7. Luscious angel boy
Just do your thing with the paper fortune teller and it'll be like
you're really talking to us!
4. At some point you may start to miss Dyeland and writing to the
people there. So here's a novel idea: write them letters.
Honest to goodness paper letters! Then you can either scan them
when you get back online or snail mail them if you happen to know the
author's address. Think of how exciting/weird that'll be for them!
5. Pop in a mixed CD of songs from our still in progress JABB
play list. Just try not to get too depressed cause, whew, some of
those are awfully angsty!
6. And there's this idea from one of our newest JABBers, Heather:
"Try to fit Andrew into other fandoms. You've already done
that quite a bit with Beauty and the Beast, Moonlight, and Charlie and
the Chocolate Factory (though that's mostly bringing them to Dyeland,
rather than Andrew to them), but there are far more movies, books, and
TV shows out there. For example, for anyone who's read the Harry
Potter books, Harry ends up almost dead something like five different
times in the first book alone. How might Harry, and thus the rest
of the books, change if Andrew had shown up at each of those times?"
7. Finally, take a deep breath. Relax. I'm sure the
Internet will come back soon. If not, send a messenger pigeon to
me and I'll get Andrew and his baseball bat and we'll threaten your ISP
until they fix things. Cause no one wants a bat-wielding angel of
death and his crazily unrequited admirer showing up at their
workplace. Bashed puters and sap every where!!!
Have another idea? Contact me before May 6th and I'll add
it! Big thanks to Heather, Nicole and Yvette for contributing!
(The photographs used on this
page are from "Touched by an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions,
Caroline Productions, and Moon Water Productions. They are not
being used to seek profit.)