"He who has no friend has God."
~~ Egyptian proverb

Hi all,

Bit of a rush again with this one which is why the text only version is non-existent this time.  Weird formatting issue.  Anyhow, I don't even have time for a proper introduction.  Sorry.  Hope you enjoy the story.

God bless,

Fun at Willowveil
March 29th, 2008

    Andrew breathed a sigh of relief as he appeared in Dyeland.  He was standing beneath the willow tree in his yard.  It had been a trying group of assignments that he'd been sent on and he wanted to calm his mind before going in search of the Dyelanders.  After a few deep breaths and a prayer to the Father, he stepped out from beneath the swaying branches of the tree. 

    Across the yard Andrew saw Rose entering Willowveil.  Not long after, Mick entered the castle.  The angel thought it odd to see the vampire walking around during the day.  He knew, of course, that Mick could.  But as it made him uncomfortable, he seldom did in Dyeland since evening visits were more than welcome there.  Andrew shrugged it off thinking, perhaps, JenniAnn had called an impromptu party.  Heartened by the idea, Andrew followed Rose and Mick inside.  They were several yards ahead of him and didn't seem to notice when he also entered.  Andrew was surprised that the place was as quiet as it was.  He couldn't hear anything except his own footsteps and the much quieter ones of Rose and Mick further ahead.  He watched as the two entered the ballroom and then Mick opened a door and let Rose enter first.  Andrew blinked.  The storage room?  Why were they going into the storage room?  As far as Andrew knew, JenniAnn didn't let anyone in the storage room.  Mick closed the door behind him.

    Andrew stood, dumbfounded.  This was definitely odd.  With Mick's keen sense of smell, he should have taken note of Andrew and there was something else odd...  He could have sworn that just before entering the storage room Mick had eaten a piece of candy out of the dish JenniAnn kept there.  Mick had no sense of taste... why was he eating candy?  Unable to remain clueless a moment longer, Andrew walked across the ballroom and entered the storage room.  Nothing could have prepared the angel for what he saw...

    Dozens of people milled around, some pulling massive sets of lights, others parts of walls that looked like they'd come from the Tunnels, and others were carrying cameras.  A ways away Andrew thought he spied Nigel.  Glad to see someone who could give him answers, Andrew headed towards his fellow angel.  Before he reached them, Nigel turned to the unknown woman next to him and began screaming. 

    "So what?  So you expect me to wear this?  So I'm some sort of pauper now?"  Nigel rolled his eyes and threw a garment on the floor.  The woman next to him grabbed it and scurried away, her head hung low.

    Andrew was aghast!  He was so surprised he hid behind a barrel of rolled up carpets.  Nigel yelling at someone?  And even stranger... he sounded like he was from the Bronx!  Andrew had no more time to process this before Rose appeared again.

    She dashed into the center of the room, looking panicked.  "She's here and she's in a mood so watch it!"

    Everyone grew quiet.  Then suddenly Andrew heard a sort of high-pitched screeching...  What he saw next rivaled Nigel's screaming for uncharacteristness...

    "Like, this is totally INSANE!!!  I want the head of whomever wrote this trash!  As if I'd actually date that cretin let alone...  Like, gross!!!"

    Andrew stared in horror as Lady JenniAnn entered the room wearing a decidedly unladylike ensemble, screeched, and then threw what seemed to be a tabloid at someone who seemed to be a member of her... entourage?

    Someone behind Andrew clucked their tongue.  "Uh oh, looks like our girl got nabbed going wild again."

    Andrew turned to see Mick who was tearing into a hoagie sandwich and rolling his eyes.  Lady Beth stood next to him looking equally perturbed.

    "She's going to ruin this show for us.  I mean it almost fell apart last year during her rehab stint," she whispered.

    "DADDY!!!" JenniAnn screamed.

    The utterly confused angel of death watched as a man with a cell phone ran into the room.  His mass of blonde hair was pulled into a ponytail that seemed an odd contrast to an Armani suit.  Andrew peered more closely at him and noticed the striking blue eyes set in the handsome face... Vincent?

    "What is it, baby?" he asked.

    "This flipping tabloid..." JenniAnn yammered on.

    "Vincent" nodded sympathetically but Andrew could tell his attention wasn't on his, uh, daughter.  This was proved true when the man began to speak into the phone.  "Well if Jackman's busy then see who else you can get!  What about Gerard Butler?  Does he do TV?"  Pause. "Well, I'm not paying you to only work when it's easy!  We need to replace Adam immediately so find me someone!"  Another pause.  "He apparently thought TV was beneath him and wanted a movie career.  Fine then."  Vincent turned to the irate JenniAnn then.  "Yes, darling.  Daddy will fix it.  Don't you worry one little bit.  Oh, sorry, another call."  Vincent ran off into another room then, yammering away.

    Rose approached JenniAnn and tried to calm her.
    "I demand a rewrite!" shouted another voice.

    Andrew was half afraid to see what twisted version of a friend he'd see when the owner of that voice entered. 

    His last bit of sanity seemed to fall away when Yva entered.

    "This is ridiculous!  My character would never say this to Andrew!" Yva continued.  "Where's Vince?  I need to talk to Vince!"

    Andrew thought he could feel the color disappearing from his face.  Her character speaking to him?  What was going on?! 

    "Daddy is busy taking care of something for me!"  JenniAnn didn't bother to look up from her nails which she was now filing.

    "No, 'Daddy' is on a business call.  If he had any sense he'd have sent you to some sort of boarding school for misfits five years ago," Mick smirked but then pushed a chair over angrily.  "Honestly!  This is the most dysfunctional show I've ever been on!  And you... you're a terrible actress and the only reason you're on this show is because your pushover father is the producer!"

    "I am not a terrible actress!  I won an Emmy!  And besides... at least my wife didn't leave me for the pool boy, Sinjin!"

    Countess Jennifer restrained Mick as he lunged towards the woman.  "It's ST. JOHN!!!"

    "Yankees rule!!!" Nigel suddenly cried, peering down at an iPod. 

    Everyone stared at him and rolled their eyes.  Andrew took the moment of distraction to walk out from behind his hiding place.

    "Uh oh..." Rose murmured.

    "Crud..." Mick echoed, turning towards the angel.

    "What is going on here?" Andrew demanded.

    JenniAnn stared at him as if not believing he was there but then she snapped to attention.  "Andrew!  Dear!  Well, isn't this a surprise!  Oh, we were just, uh, playing!"

    Yva nodded profusely.  "Yes, we were playing Dysfunctional TV Show Headed by Hollywood Bigwig's Disgraceful Spawn."

    JenniAnn looked as if she were trying to shoot lasers at Yva with her eyes.

    "Exactly.  Just a game, my friend," Nigel assured, suspiciously adopting an English accent for the first time since Andrew entered the room.

    "Let's just go get you a snack," Lady Beth suggested and reached for Andrew's hand.

    Andrew pulled away.  "No!  I don't believe any of you!"

    "You shouldn't," came another voice.

    Andrew turned around to see Adam.  He looked at him pleadingly.

    "I just came to clear out my dressing room," Adam said to the others before turning back to Andrew.  "Dyeland's not real.  This is all a TV show Vince dreamed up after seeing 'The Truman Show.'  I'm sorry."  The tall man then headed towards the storage room door.

    "Wait!  But you're an angel!  You can't lie!" Andrew cried.

    Adam turned back and shook his head.  "Just an actor.  Sorry.  I need to leave now.  My agent is waiting."  With that he left.

    Andrew began to stumble and sat down on the floor.  "I... I don't understand."

    "See, Daddy thought that movie was really good and he saw how much of a hit that angel show was.  So he somehow found out you were real and put the two together and... we've been in the Nielsen's top ten since 2000!  And I won an Emmy!"

    "'Daddy' paid off the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences," Countess Jennifer muttered.

    "Apparently I do unrequited love quite well," JenniAnn added with a smug smile, ignoring Countess Jennifer.

    "B-but your letters..." Andrew protested.

    "Oh someone on the writing staff takes care of those.  Half the time we don't even know what they say," Yva explained.

    "Well, if he's figured it out... I guess the show's over..."  Lady Beth sighed.  "I guess I better call my agent."

    "Naw, Andrew can play along.  Can't you, buddy?" Nigel asked, a rather threatening look in his eyes.

    "I... I..." Andrew began to shake. 

    "What's he doing in here?!" Vince bellowed as he reappeared, staring at Andrew.  "Where's security?  Heads are going to roll!"  Vince then smiled sweetly at Andrew.  "Well, you've caught us.  But I hope you aren't too angry.  After all, we gave you a pulpit for all that God stuff.  Millions of people watch 'Dyeland' every week."

    "B-but I thought they were my friends!"  Andrew was truly crying now and the tears kept coming even as he kept brushing them away.

    Vince shrugged.  "You're not losing much.  They're all a buncha ingrates and prima donnas," he whispered.  "What do you say to your own TV show, Andrew?  People love you and..."

    "No!  I... I want my friends and...  Laja?" he looked pleadingly at JenniAnn.


    "It's time to stop the game."

    She rolled her eyes.  "Not a game, bucko.  Where's my Evian?" she asked her entourage.

    "B-but you helped found Dyeland!" Andrew kept on, determined.

    "So the writers say."  She shrugged, disinterested.

    Just then a crew member walked by holding a poster.  "Dyeland, 8 PM C/ 9 PM E on CBS" was emblazoned at the top.  Andrew's photo loomed large in the center with the faces of the others surrounding it.  "A Vince Wells Production" was on the bottom.

    Andrew felt his legs begin to wobble.  Then everything went black.

The End

Yeah right...
(Photo Credits: The image on this page is owned by CBS Productions, Caroline Productions, and Moon Water Productions.  It is not being used to seek profit.)