"He who has no friend has God."
Bit of a rush again
with this one which is why the text only version is
non-existent this time. Weird formatting issue.
Anyhow, I don't even have time for a proper
introduction. Sorry. Hope you enjoy the story.
March 29th, 2008
Andrew breathed a sigh of relief as he
appeared in Dyeland. He was standing beneath the willow
tree in his yard. It had been a trying group of
assignments that he'd been sent on and he wanted to calm his
mind before going in search of the Dyelanders. After a
few deep breaths and a prayer to the Father, he stepped out
from beneath the swaying branches of the tree.
Across the yard Andrew saw Rose entering
Willowveil. Not long after, Mick entered the
castle. The angel thought it odd to see the vampire
walking around during the day. He knew, of course, that
Mick could. But as it made him uncomfortable, he seldom
did in Dyeland since evening visits were more than welcome
there. Andrew shrugged it off thinking, perhaps,
JenniAnn had called an impromptu party. Heartened by the
idea, Andrew followed Rose and Mick inside. They were
several yards ahead of him and didn't seem to notice when he
also entered. Andrew was surprised that the place was as
quiet as it was. He couldn't hear anything except his
own footsteps and the much quieter ones of Rose and Mick
further ahead. He watched as the two entered the
ballroom and then Mick opened a door and let Rose enter
first. Andrew blinked. The storage room? Why
were they going into the storage room? As far as Andrew
knew, JenniAnn didn't let anyone in the storage room.
Mick closed the door behind him.
Andrew stood, dumbfounded. This was
definitely odd. With Mick's keen sense of smell, he
should have taken note of Andrew and there was something else
odd... He could have sworn that just before entering the
storage room Mick had eaten a piece of candy out of the dish
JenniAnn kept there. Mick had no sense of taste... why
was he eating candy? Unable to remain clueless a moment
longer, Andrew walked across the ballroom and entered the
storage room. Nothing could have prepared the angel for
what he saw...
Dozens of people milled around, some
pulling massive sets of lights, others parts of walls that
looked like they'd come from the Tunnels, and others were
carrying cameras. A ways away Andrew thought he spied
Nigel. Glad to see someone who could give him answers,
Andrew headed towards his fellow angel. Before he
reached them, Nigel turned to the unknown woman next to him
and began screaming.
"So what? So you expect me to wear
this? So I'm some sort of pauper now?" Nigel
rolled his eyes and threw a garment on the floor. The
woman next to him grabbed it and scurried away, her head hung
Andrew was aghast! He was so
surprised he hid behind a barrel of rolled up carpets.
Nigel yelling at someone? And even stranger... he
sounded like he was from the Bronx! Andrew had no more
time to process this before Rose appeared again.
She dashed into the center of the room,
looking panicked. "She's here and she's in a mood so
Everyone grew quiet. Then suddenly
Andrew heard a sort of high-pitched screeching... What
he saw next rivaled Nigel's screaming for
"Like, this is totally INSANE!!! I
want the head of whomever wrote this trash! As if I'd
actually date that cretin let alone... Like, gross!!!"
Andrew stared in horror as Lady JenniAnn
entered the room wearing a decidedly unladylike ensemble,
screeched, and then threw what seemed to be a tabloid at
someone who seemed to be a member of her... entourage?
Someone behind Andrew clucked their
tongue. "Uh oh, looks like our girl got nabbed going
Andrew turned to see Mick who was tearing
into a hoagie sandwich and rolling his eyes. Lady Beth
stood next to him looking equally perturbed.
"She's going to ruin this show for
us. I mean it almost fell apart last year during her
rehab stint," she whispered.
"DADDY!!!" JenniAnn screamed.
The utterly confused angel of death watched
as a man with a cell phone ran into the room. His mass
of blonde hair was pulled into a ponytail that seemed an odd
contrast to an Armani suit. Andrew peered more closely
at him and noticed the striking blue eyes set in the handsome
"What is it, baby?" he asked.
"This flipping tabloid..." JenniAnn
"Vincent" nodded sympathetically but Andrew
could tell his attention wasn't on his, uh, daughter.
This was proved true when the man began to speak into the
phone. "Well if Jackman's busy then see who else you can
get! What about Gerard Butler? Does he do
TV?" Pause. "Well, I'm not paying you to only work when
it's easy! We need to replace Adam immediately so find
me someone!" Another pause. "He apparently thought
TV was beneath him and wanted a movie career. Fine
then." Vincent turned to the irate JenniAnn then.
"Yes, darling. Daddy will fix it. Don't you worry
one little bit. Oh, sorry, another call." Vincent
ran off into another room then, yammering away.
Rose approached JenniAnn and tried to calm
"I demand a rewrite!" shouted another
Andrew was half afraid to see what twisted
version of a friend he'd see when the owner of that voice
His last bit of sanity seemed to fall away
when Yva entered.
"This is ridiculous! My character
would never say this to Andrew!" Yva continued. "Where's
Vince? I need to talk to Vince!"
Andrew thought he could feel the color
disappearing from his face. Her character speaking to
him? What was going on?!
"Daddy is busy taking care of something for
me!" JenniAnn didn't bother to look up from her nails
which she was now filing.
"No, 'Daddy' is on a business call.
If he had any sense he'd have sent you to some sort of
boarding school for misfits five years ago," Mick smirked but
then pushed a chair over angrily. "Honestly! This
is the most dysfunctional show I've ever been on! And
you... you're a terrible actress and the only reason you're on
this show is because your pushover father is the producer!"
"I am not a terrible actress! I won
an Emmy! And besides... at least my wife didn't leave me
for the pool boy, Sinjin!"
Countess Jennifer restrained Mick as he
lunged towards the woman. "It's ST. JOHN!!!"
"Yankees rule!!!" Nigel suddenly cried,
peering down at an iPod.
Everyone stared at him and rolled their
eyes. Andrew took the moment of distraction to walk out
from behind his hiding place.
"Uh oh..." Rose murmured.
"Crud..." Mick echoed, turning towards the
"What is going on here?" Andrew demanded.
JenniAnn stared at him as if not believing
he was there but then she snapped to attention.
"Andrew! Dear! Well, isn't this a surprise!
Oh, we were just, uh, playing!"
Yva nodded profusely. "Yes, we were
playing Dysfunctional TV Show Headed by Hollywood Bigwig's
JenniAnn looked as if she were trying to
shoot lasers at Yva with her eyes.
"Exactly. Just a game, my friend,"
Nigel assured, suspiciously adopting an English accent for the
first time since Andrew entered the room.
"Let's just go get you a snack," Lady Beth
suggested and reached for Andrew's hand.
Andrew pulled away. "No! I
don't believe any of you!"
"You shouldn't," came another voice.
Andrew turned around to see Adam. He
looked at him pleadingly.
"I just came to clear out my dressing
room," Adam said to the others before turning back to
Andrew. "Dyeland's not real. This is all a TV show
Vince dreamed up after seeing 'The Truman Show.' I'm
sorry." The tall man then headed towards the storage
"Wait! But you're an angel! You
can't lie!" Andrew cried.
Adam turned back and shook his head.
"Just an actor. Sorry. I need to leave now.
My agent is waiting." With that he left.
Andrew began to stumble and sat down on the
floor. "I... I don't understand."
"See, Daddy thought that movie was really
good and he saw how much of a hit that angel show was.
So he somehow found out you were real and put the two together
and... we've been in the Nielsen's top ten since 2000!
And I won an Emmy!"
"'Daddy' paid off the Academy of Television
Arts and Sciences," Countess Jennifer muttered.
"Apparently I do unrequited love quite
well," JenniAnn added with a smug smile, ignoring Countess
"B-but your letters..." Andrew protested.
"Oh someone on the writing staff takes care
of those. Half the time we don't even know what they
say," Yva explained.
"Well, if he's figured it out... I guess
the show's over..." Lady Beth sighed. "I guess I
better call my agent."
"Naw, Andrew can play along. Can't
you, buddy?" Nigel asked, a rather threatening look in his
"I... I..." Andrew began to shake.
"What's he doing in here?!" Vince bellowed
as he reappeared, staring at Andrew. "Where's
security? Heads are going to roll!" Vince then
smiled sweetly at Andrew. "Well, you've caught us.
But I hope you aren't too angry. After all, we gave you
a pulpit for all that God stuff. Millions of people
watch 'Dyeland' every week."
"B-but I thought they were my
friends!" Andrew was truly crying now and the tears kept
coming even as he kept brushing them away.
Vince shrugged. "You're not losing
much. They're all a buncha ingrates and prima donnas,"
he whispered. "What do you say to your own TV show,
Andrew? People love you and..."
"No! I... I want my friends
and... Laja?" he looked pleadingly at JenniAnn.
"It's time to stop the game."
She rolled her eyes. "Not a game,
bucko. Where's my Evian?" she asked her entourage.
"B-but you helped found Dyeland!" Andrew
kept on, determined.
"So the writers say." She shrugged,
Just then a crew member walked by holding a
poster. "Dyeland, 8 PM C/ 9 PM E on CBS" was emblazoned
at the top. Andrew's photo loomed large in the center
with the faces of the others surrounding it. "A Vince
Wells Production" was on the bottom.
Andrew felt his legs begin to wobble.
Then everything went black.
The image on this page is owned by CBS Productions,
Caroline Productions, and Moon Water Productions.
It is not being used to seek profit.)