Jenni’s Completely Downloadable JABB 192 Playlist

"Here's a tip: aluminium foil makes a lovely hat

and blocks out the government's mind control rays."
~ Richard Belzer as Det. John Munch in "The X-Files"

Well, here we are with our 3rd “Commemoration of the Murder Trial that Wasn’t.”  For those of you who are new to the group, this occasion is in reaction to a rumor that was started around TBAA’s 5th season that an episode was in the works where Andrew would be falsely accused of and tried for murder.  This episode never happened but the idea sure captured my imagination!  You can read more about my obsession with this theme on the Encyclopedia.

As many of you may remember, last year I actually wrote a story (
"Nor Iron Bars a Cage") in which Andrew *was* put on trial and all the Dyelanders and his fellow angels tried to cope with this development.  So then “Commemoration of the Murder Trial that Wasn’t” didn’t seem right before since, to our Dyeland counterparts for whom the “holiday” was mostly for, the murder trial was very real.  So welcome to what’s actually the very 1st “Commemoration of the Murder Trial that Wasn’t then Was.”

Hope you enjoy the newsletter.  Took me about three attempts to get it right (or something resembling right).  The version I was going to go with was in conversation format.  I wrote it while not feeling very well (read: I drank too much coffee), in an attempt to keep myself from falling asleep.  And I think it shows!  Pretty darn choppy!  So I went with this shorter version.  But if you want to see the original you can visit the Author’s Cut

God bless,

Now, we head on over to Dyeland…

On May 13th of this year, Lady JenniAnn determined that the “Commemoration of the Murder Trial that Wasn’t” needed to be celebrated despite the troubling occurrences of the previous year.  Her idea was to redub the day “Commemoration of the Murder Trial that Wasn’t then Was.”  In celebration of this re-imagined “holiday” she handed out awards known as…

The Trialies

The Trialies are given out in “recognition of achievements in reactions to beloved angels of death being falsely accused of murder and put on trial.”  The Trialies were awarded during the course of an Oscar-style awards show in the Willowveil ballroom.  The Trialie statuettes actually consisted of aluminum foil sculptures made by Lady JenniAnn.  We now present you with a list of the winners and their categories, as well as a number of quotes overheard during the ceremony.

1.  "Best Performance by the Leader of a Protest Posse" Trialie
Winner: Jess O’Neill for her organization of “Free Andrew Now”
Trialie: A foil megaphone

2.  "Most Amusing Performance by a Witness" Trialie
Winner: Gloria for her testimony regarding Andrew’s angelic character which included references to: labyrinths, computer bashings, and Ecstasy use
Trialie: A foil labyrinth

3.  "Most Sherlock Holmes-like Behavior” Trialie
Winners: Audrey, Margherita, Daisy, and Cliff for their investigation to find the real murderer
Trialies: Foil magnifying glasses

4.  "Even More Cool than Matlock" Trialie
Tess for her dedicated and powerful defense of Andrew
Trialie: Foil scales of justice

5.  "Greatest Ability to Remain Cool and Impartial When Your Friend is Being Tried for a Crime He Did Not Commit" Trialie
Winner: Monica who steadfastly reported on the trial and thus had to pretend impartiality which we’re sure was very difficult for her
Trialie: Foil pad of paper and pen

6.  "Best Driver of a Mini-Van Full of Dyelanders" and "Best Elvis Impersonator" Trialies
Winner: Adam for his dutiful driving of the Dyeland mini-van to and from the court and jailhouse and also his superb performance of “Jailhouse Rock”
Trialies: Foil car key and microphone

7.  "Cool Under Pressure, Loving Above All Else" Trialie
Winner: Andrew for basically being Andrew
Trialies: Very large “Friends Forever” foil heart

Overheard during the Trialies…

“That is one very oddly shaped and very large baked potato…” ~ Adam while examining the foil sculpture if an oversized gavel Lady JenniAnn’s made as décor

“May be someone will come out and perform “It’s Hard Out There for an AOD.” ~ Adam speculating about whether there will be musical performances a la the Oscars at the Trialies

“I was so worried I'd never see you again outside of a 10 by 10 cell.  Not to mention that flourescent lighting didn't really do much for your really very nice complexion.  And your poor hair...  Well, no really that still looked utterly fantastic.” ~ Lady JenniAnn to Andrew, describing her agonizing worry during the course of his imprisonment

“Uh, I guess I'd like to thank Andrew for inspiring me to create FAN (Free Andrew Now) by being a great friend, angel, and fishing buddy.  Oh and to the Crayola company for creating the art supplies we used for the posters.  Our signs would have been very dull with out their crayons and markers.” ~ Jess upon receiving her Trialie

“Ooh and also Andrew for being a great friend who I was really honored to testify on behalf of.  Oops I just ended a sentence with a preposition which I should know better because once I was reading a book on grammar and…” ~ Gloria during her acceptance speech

“Thanks, JenniAnn, for these awards.  Good to see my absence from the castle hasn't put an end to your crazy schemes.” ~ Princess Audrey during her speech

“At least it's not the dancing handcuffs I was worried about.” ~ Andrew, relieved to find the interpretative dance number involved only dancing lights

“You ever need some coffee smuggled in to you again, I'm your angel.” ~ Andrew to Monica

“Well thank you, Lady JenniAnn, for this aluminum car key and microphone.  I will treasure them always until I need some foil so I can MacGuyver myself out of a dangerous situation.  Or get better reception on a really old TV.” ~ from Adam’s acceptance speech

“Wow, well, thanks...  This is... this means a lot.  Thank you.  And thank you again to all of you who supported me last May.  And all of you that have offered me unconditional love and support any time before or after that.  I just... I'm really grateful for you all being in my life.  So I accept this award on your behalf and the Father's behalf.  He taught me about love and you've shown it to me.” ~ from Andrew’s acceptance speech

“Well, it was on sale and I'm not allowed near clay any more so it was the only other thing I knew how to make sculptures out of.  Tess caught me watching 'Ghost' while I was staying with her last December.  I admitted the part with the pottery wheel made me think about you.  So I'm not allowed around clay or pottery wheels now.” ~ JenniAnn to Andrew when he asked why all the Trialies were made out of foil

“Uh huh…” ~ A mildly freaked out Andrew upon hearing the above

JABB 193

(Photo Credits: The photographs used on this page are from "Touched by an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline Productions, and Moon Water Productions.  They are not being used to seek profit.)