God for kids, there's magic for a while.
A special kind of sunshine in a smile.
Do you ever stop to think or wonder why
the nearest thing to Heaven is a child?”
~ from the Oak Ridge Boys’ hit “Thank God for Kids”
Written by Eddy Raven
Well, here we are at JABB 191... Wow! I had to bump up the
date on this one cause somewhere along the line I got off schedule and
I want to make sure there’s an issue lined up for the 13th of
May. But more on that later! This is more of a
group-business sort of issue so I’m just gonna jump right in.
As many of you know, my co-president Karen has been offline for some
months and will probly continue to be for a bit yet. So I’ve had
to take on a new co-president. Unlike previous times, I opted to
choose from outside the JABB ranks. I hope you all agree with my
decision. Because I want you all to know a bit about our new
co-president and her stances on important Andrew-themed issues, I
thought it would be good if I interviewed her. So below please
read the interview I conducted with Lila, our newest co-president!
Me: Lila, thanks again for agreeing to take on this vital JABB
role. So, if you had to describe John Dye in one word, what would
Lila: Ah-ta! Ah-ta!
Me: Huh… okay. How about Andrew?
Me: Right… I would have gone for adorable or may be
or compassionate but, uh, I guess that works. So… have a favorite
Eh! ::tried to pry pop/soda can out of
box:: EEEEE!!! Medo… AAAAH!
Me: I guess I don’t remember that one. And no.
pop. No… no. So, um, what do you see as the main skill
you’ll be bringing to JABB?
Lila: ::proceeded to put
forehead on floor and her behind in the
air as if starting a headstand but just remained frozen for a few
Me: ::frowned:: I’m not really sure how we’ll use
that… Okay, well, let’s just look at photos of our beloved Andrew
and if you’ll just give me your reactions to each shot that could be
fun! Okay, how about… this one!
Me: ::enthralled by photo, I sighed, then remembered I was
something:: Oh right! And your thoughts on this one?
Dada. Dada. Duhduhduh.
Me: ::went pale:: Wh-what?!? He’s not your
An-Andrew can’t be! He… he wouldn’t! Oh Andrew, why hast
thou betrayed me??? ::clunked head on desk::
Lila: Uh oh.
::giggled then grabbed a nearby book::
Da-da. ::went and looked out the window:: Da-da!
Me: ::lifted my head up, smiled:: Oh! You just
lot. Andrew isn’t really your dad. Whew. So…
hey! No Cheerios! It’s almost lunch!
BA! ::stomped feet::
Me: Listen, this sort of behavior does not befit such an
person as a JABB co-president, missy!
Me: Okay, let’s try this again. Do you prefer Andrew
short hair or long hair?
Me: ::raises eye brows:: Lubdub? Love… dove!
dove! You love the dove! Me too! Yeah, it’s totally
awesome how most episodes would end with the dove flying away!
See, now we’re talking! Hey you wanna take over typing this, my
wrists kinda hurt. ::stepped away from keyboard, Lila took over::
Of course, by then, I realized Lila was not JABB co-president material
and thus ended her very short tenure. I thanked her for her time
and received a “tank ooh” in return.
I should probly point out that Lila is, in fact, the one-year-old I
babysit. I changed her name to protect the very innocent.
;-) She has a fairly uncommon name and I had visions of a
teenaged “Lila” hopping on the net to research her name and pulling up
JABB and thinking “OMG! My babysitter *really* was nuts!”
I had the idea for this issue when I was working on the Photo Gallery
and Lila toddled up and said “Dada!” I thought it was hilariously
inappropriate as it was a page of Andrew photos. She then
proceeded to call our backdoor window and assorted other items
“dada.” Another day she came up to me when I was editing a JABB
page and began to type herself. The excesses of x’s, z’s and c’s
you see above are, in fact, her work. I should probly also make
it clear that while the language is hers (as best as I could transcribe
it), my words and actions were added in later. I did not bang my
head on the desk in front of the impressionable lil one. Just
wanted that clear. ;-)
Oh and Karen is still co-president. Until the end of the month
when I dub my trusty Magic 8 Ball
as her successor and write another
issue with it. Just kidding!
Anyhow, hope you enjoyed this rather short, childish issue. Join
us again on the 13th when we celebrate “The Commemoration of the Murder
Trial That Wasn’t Then Was.” I’ll be handing that issue over to
the folks in Dyeland and I understand they plan on having their own
themed award show… the Trialies. (Fantastic...) If you
would like to take a
look back on the very first “Commemoration” during which,
“coincidentally,” Andrew was arrested and put on trial for murder then
you can check out JABB 163
aka “Nor Iron Bars a Prison.” Until the 13th… happy
(Photo Credits: The photographs used on this page are
from "Touched by an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline
Productions, and Moon Water Productions. They are not being used
to seek profit.)