JABB 188- Checking in with Dyeland!

Hello and welcome to JABB 188! Not many announcements or anything. Oh, if you have an entry in our Encyclopedia, we’re now adding avatars since it’s perhaps not wise to put our photos on so public a page. If you’re interested, please email me. Have a good week!

Margherita made her way to the door of Willowveil Castle. She’d been away from Dyeland for over a month and was anxious to catch up on the latest news. And, it seemed to her, Lady JenniAnn would be the best source. The woman

checked her watch. 9:06 AM. She was pretty sure her friend would be up by then. She politely knocked and waited. Her jaw dropped when the door opened and she found herself staring at… Andrew. And he was wearing a green tunic, leather headband, and denim bell bottoms.

“Umm… Hey, Andrew, is JenniAnn about?” Margherita asked, choosing to ignore Andrew’s bizarre (though flattering) clothing.

“I’m… okay,” Margherita answered hesitantly. “You mean at her cottage in Serensylvana, not Serenity City, right?”

Andrew shook his head and bit his lip in concern. “No… She lives in Serenity City. I sometimes stay at Serensylvana. Ya know, when I get stressed. Hey, what are you…” Andrew looked at her in confusion when Margherita put her hand on his forehead.

“Uh, sure…” Margherita followed him inside. She wasn’t a huge chai fan but figured this would give her time to figure out why Andrew was acting so strangely. He waved to the table and she took a seat. She watched intently as he mixed and heated the chai. Her eyes about popped out of her head when he began to sing “Jesus Christ Superstar.” And even worse… he was checking himself out in the lid of a pot! Margherita blinked a few times and rubbed at her ears. Surely she was confused…

“Buddha was he where it’s at? Is he where you are? Could Mohammed move a mountain or was that just PR?” Andrew sang, still gazing at that stupid pot lid! “Ooh!” he suddenly cried.

Margherita watched in increasing dismay as he withdrew a small notepad from the pocket of his bell bottoms. He sat at the table and began writing. She peeked over his shoulder, eyes growing wide.

“Top ten reasons I am so wonderful…” was scrawled across the top. As Margherita watched Andrew wrote in a number 7. “I can sing Andrew Lloyd Webber tunes really, really well. Like I could totally be a professional singer. I am that good.”

That was it. Andrew had clearly lost his marbles. Margherita jumped up from her seat and ran out the side door. The nearest house was Andrew’s Serendipity. If Andrew had taken up residence in JenniAnn’s Willowveil may be JenniAnn was there… But as she drew closer she saw not JenniAnn but Gloria stepping out onto the porch.

“Gloria, you have to help me. Andrew is… I don’t know, he’s having some sort of identity crisis over at Willowveil. I can’t find Lady JenniAnn and…”

Gloria looked sympathetically at her. “I really wish I could help but…” She withdrew a gold pocket watch with a labyrinth carved onto the cover from the pocket of her fitted white suit. “I have an assignment I really need to get to. Boating accident.” She shook her head and frowned.

“B-but… that’s Andrew’s watch! And you’re not an angel of death! You’re a caseworker!” Margherita cried.

Gloria sighed. “Poor thing! Too much vacation? Travel can really stress a person out. May be you should go rest. Really, I need to be going.” Gloria hugged Margherita and then was off, leaving her staring, mouth agape. After recovering herself, Margherita dashed off to Monica’s Café. She sighed with relief when she saw Lady Beth, Lady JenniAnn, Miss Miriam, Bunny, and Jess O’Neill there.

“Possibly because Andrew lives there. It just makes sense. Willowveil’s the main gathering place and since he’s JABB’s main author…”

“May be I chip in every so often but it’s always been mostly Andrew. I mean sure it’s a little weird him writing all that stuff about how great he is but… good taste is good taste right? Besides, I’m too busy helping Jess here bodyguard him to write JABB.”

“And, just so you’re clear, I’m Andrew’s co-president,” Miriam added. “Andrew is the main author of JABB but I help write on occasion and am his co-president. It’s so fun!” she enthused.

“Now you’re all really pulling my leg! You’re all being ridiculous! Jarrod and Lady Beth are his bodyguards! JenniAnn and Bunny are the JABB co-presidents and Andrew is the subject, not the author!” Margherita looked around to the others for back up but they just stared back curiously. Finally Jess spoke.

“No… It’s JenniAnn and I that are the bodyguards. And yes Andrew is the main author of JABB. I think I would know. I’m one of the co-founders after all.” She sat up proudly.

“Are you going to say anything to this?” Margherita looked at Lady Beth, her eyes pleading. “JenniAnn and Jess are trying to take credit for your bodyguard work!”

Lady Beth had a mug raised to her lips and was gulping whatever was in it down. A waiter walked by and she politely tapped his arm. “Excuse me but could I possibly get a wee bit more mocha latte?”

Before the waiter could answer, Monica suddenly burst into the Café. “Lady Beth! You put down that mug right now!” she glared at Lady Beth then turned her gaze to the waiter. “Don’t you get her another one, baby. I’m cutting her off!” She turned back to Lady Beth. “I don’t want you prancing about on a caffeine high and driving your next assignment crazy. Speaking of which, don’t you have somewhere to be?”

Lady Beth smiled meekly and nodded and left. Margherita ran after her and watched as she stepped into the red Cadillac and drove off. She shook her head then looked back at the remaining five at the table. She looked particularly at Monica. She was dressed in an array of bold colors and had a large angel pin at her shoulder. Margherita hesitantly returned to the table.

“Oh yes! Last time I was assigned to a worker in a Kellogg’s plant. Did you know that one of the creators of Kellogg’s cereal only had a sixth grade education?! And with that he started an entire breakfast empire!” Bunny enthused. “And during World War Two the company supplied K-rations for the troops and were, as a result awarded…”

JenniAnn shrugged. “Either on assignment or on Tourkia I would guess. Hey Jess, may be we should go check on Andrew?”

Jess nodded and followed her outside. Margherita took a deep breath to try and control the anger she was beginning to feel. Clearly the whole of Dyeland had gone bonkers and she wasn’t sure she liked being the lone sane person in the world. She counted to 10 in her head and then got up from the table herself and headed to Tourkia. She hoped she’d get some answers there!

Margherita had no choice but to walk past Willowveil’s front yard on the way to Tourkia. She dreaded it. She really did not want to get drawn into a conversation with Andrew again. Not, at least, with out the help of a trained psychologist. Regretfully, she acknowledged that her formerly stable angelic friend may just need one. The whole blasted place seemed to need one! She considered turning around and heading to St. Andrew’s to get Dr. Johnson from the psych floor. But she decided to give Jarrod a chance to explain all this.

As she drew near the castle she heard shouting. Drawing closer still she saw Adam, Tess, Andrew, and Jarrod himself! She smiled with relief. Finding Jarrod, Adam, and Tess was a relief. Surely at least one of the three had sense enough to help her aid their obviously troubled friends. Jarrod, Adam, and Tess were tossing around a football. Andrew, however, was alternating making a daisy chain and cheering on the other three. Margherita shook her head and walked past him.

“Oh you guys! I’m so glad I found you! This place has gone absolutely nuts since I left! I mean… look at Andrew!” she cried and pointed to the angel.

Margherita opened her mouth to answer but then only looked in horror as a turkey came waddling up to Jarrod. Jarrod beamed and then hugged the turkey. Then, as if on cue, another Dyelander wandered into the yard wearing a halter top. Jarrod frowned, hugged the turkey once more, then set him down.

“That girl with the strapless top! Doesn’t that make you nervous? I mean like when Monica wore that strapless black… never mind,” Margherita cut herself off when Adam only stared at her in confusion. “Clearly there’s more than one certifiable AOD in this place,” she muttered.

“Okay, well, since our football game seems to have been disrupted, I’m going to Lazy Lake to fish. Catch ya later!” Adam called as he walked away.

Tess waved and then withdrew a bottle of apple juice from her bag as well as a novel. “Can I help you with anything?” she asked Margherita before opening the cover of an obviously well-read copy of “Les Miserables.”

“Leave me alone, Andrew. I’m going home to Idlewild, I’m going to sleep, and hopefully when I wake up you all will have a bit more sense to you,” Margherita snapped once he trotted up to her.

Andrew looked hurt. Then he began twisting a ring that she didn’t recall him ever having before. “I’m sorry I just…”

Then Margherita watched in horror as the angel of death had a complete emotional break down that would have put Lady JenniAnn (before she had a radical personality change like the rest of Dyeland) to shame.

“Shh… Shh… Andrew this is horridly undignified! And you have no godfather. I think we need to get you to St. Andrew’s,” Margherita said quietly, trying to calm him.

“There, there. It’s okay,” Henry led Andrew to a shaded spot and they sat down. “How about I tell you the story of Demeter and Persephone.”

What the bleep just happened?!?

JABB TOC

(Photo Credits: The photographs used on this page are from "Touched by an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline Productions, and Moon Water Productions. They are not being used to seek profit.)