"A friend may well be reckoned the
masterpiece of nature."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
and welcome to JABB 188! Not many announcements or anything. Oh, if you
have an entry in our Encyclopedia,
we’re now adding avatars since it’s perhaps not wise to put our photos
on so public a page. If you’re interested, please email me. Have a good
made her way to the door of Willowveil Castle. She’d been away from
Dyeland for over a month and was anxious to catch up on the latest
news. And, it seemed to her, Lady JenniAnn would be the best source.
The woman checked her watch.
9:06 AM. She was pretty sure her friend
would be up by then. She politely knocked and waited. Her jaw dropped
when the door opened and she found herself staring at… Andrew. And he
was wearing a green tunic, leather headband, and denim bell bottoms.
Hey, Andrew, is JenniAnn about?” Margherita asked, choosing to ignore
Andrew’s bizarre (though flattering) clothing.
frowned at her. “No… She’s in Serenity City. How are you, Margherita?”
okay,” Margherita answered hesitantly. “You mean at her cottage in
Serensylvana, not Serenity City, right?”
shook his head and bit his lip in concern. “No… She lives in Serenity
City. I sometimes stay at Serensylvana. Ya know, when I get stressed.
Hey, what are you…” Andrew looked at her in confusion when Margherita
put her hand on his forehead.
frowned and drew it away. “No fever… Andrew, do you feel okay?”
groovy!” he smiled, “Hey, I was just sitting down for some chai. Wanna
sure…” Margherita followed him inside. She wasn’t a huge chai fan but
figured this would give her time to figure out why Andrew was acting so
strangely. He waved to the table and she took a seat. She watched
intently as he mixed and heated the chai. Her eyes about popped out of
her head when he began to sing “Jesus Christ Superstar.” And even
worse… he was checking himself out in the lid of a pot! Margherita
blinked a few times and rubbed at her ears. Surely she was confused…
was he where it’s at? Is he where you are? Could Mohammed move a
mountain or was that just PR?” Andrew sang, still gazing at that stupid
pot lid! “Ooh!” he suddenly cried.
watched in increasing dismay as he withdrew a small notepad from the
pocket of his bell bottoms. He sat at the table and began writing. She
peeked over his shoulder, eyes growing wide.
reasons I am so wonderful…” was scrawled across the top. As Margherita
watched Andrew wrote in a number 7. “I can sing Andrew Lloyd Webber
tunes really, really well. Like I could totally be a professional
singer. I am that good.”
was it. Andrew had clearly
lost his marbles. Margherita jumped up from her seat and ran out the
side door. The nearest house was Andrew’s Serendipity. If Andrew had
taken up residence in JenniAnn’s Willowveil may be JenniAnn was there…
But as she drew closer she saw not JenniAnn but Gloria stepping out
onto the porch.
Margherita, you’re back! That’s great!” Gloria greeted her.
you have to help me. Andrew is… I don’t know, he’s having some sort of
identity crisis over at Willowveil. I can’t find Lady JenniAnn and…”
looked sympathetically at her. “I really wish I could help but…” She
withdrew a gold pocket watch with a labyrinth carved onto the cover
from the pocket of her fitted white suit. “I have an assignment I
really need to get to. Boating accident.” She shook her head and
that’s Andrew’s watch! And you’re not an angel of death! You’re a
caseworker!” Margherita cried.
sighed. “Poor thing! Too much vacation? Travel can really stress a
person out. May be you should go rest. Really, I need to be going.”
Gloria hugged Margherita and then was off, leaving her staring, mouth
agape. After recovering herself, Margherita dashed off to Monica’s
Café. She sighed with relief when she saw Lady Beth, Lady
Miss Miriam, Bunny, and Jess O’Neill there.
JenniAnn! Thank God, you’re okay!” Margherita cried and hugged her
looked at her with raised eye brows. “Yeah… am I not supposed to be?”
when I went to Willowveil and you weren’t there…”
would I be at Willowveil?”
you live there! But for some reason Andrew’s there and…”
because Andrew lives there. It just makes sense. Willowveil’s the main
gathering place and since he’s JABB’s main author…”
laughed. “Haha. You know you write JABB. And Bunny is your
be I chip in every so often but it’s always been mostly Andrew. I mean
sure it’s a little weird him writing all that stuff about how great he
is but… good taste is good taste right? Besides, I’m too busy helping
Jess here bodyguard him to write JABB.”
you’re clear, I’m Andrew’s co-president,” Miriam added. “Andrew is the
main author of JABB but I help write on occasion and am his
co-president. It’s so fun!” she enthused.
you’re all really pulling my leg! You’re all being ridiculous! Jarrod
and Lady Beth are his bodyguards! JenniAnn and Bunny are the JABB
co-presidents and Andrew is the subject, not the author!” Margherita
looked around to the others for back up but they just stared back
curiously. Finally Jess spoke.
It’s JenniAnn and I
that are the bodyguards. And yes Andrew is the main author of JABB. I
think I would know. I’m one of the co-founders after all.” She sat up
you going to say anything to this?”
Margherita looked at Lady Beth, her eyes pleading. “JenniAnn and Jess
are trying to take credit for your bodyguard work!”
Beth had a mug raised to her lips and was gulping whatever was in it
down. A waiter walked by and she politely tapped his arm. “Excuse me
but could I possibly get a wee bit more mocha latte?”
the waiter could answer, Monica suddenly burst into the Café.
Beth! You put down that mug right now!” she glared at Lady Beth then
turned her gaze to the waiter. “Don’t you get her another one, baby.
I’m cutting her off!” She turned back to Lady Beth. “I don’t want you
prancing about on a caffeine high and driving your next assignment
crazy. Speaking of which, don’t you have somewhere to be?”
Beth smiled meekly and nodded and left. Margherita ran after her and
watched as she stepped into the red Cadillac and drove off. She shook
her head then looked back at the remaining five at the table. She
looked particularly at Monica. She was dressed in an array of bold
colors and had a large angel pin at her shoulder. Margherita hesitantly
returned to the table.
how are you, baby? Your assignments going okay?” Monica asked Bunny.
yes! Last time I was assigned to a worker in a Kellogg’s plant. Did you
know that one of the creators of Kellogg’s cereal only had a sixth
grade education?! And with that he started an entire breakfast empire!”
Bunny enthused. “And during World War Two the company supplied
K-rations for the troops and were, as a result awarded…”
interrupted this disturbing display of Gloria-like behavior. “Where’s
shrugged. “Either on assignment or on Tourkia I would guess. Hey Jess,
may be we should go check on Andrew?”
nodded and followed her outside. Margherita took a deep breath to try
and control the anger she was beginning to feel. Clearly the whole of
Dyeland had gone bonkers and she wasn’t sure she liked being the lone
sane person in the world. She counted to 10 in her head and then got up
from the table herself and headed to Tourkia. She hoped she’d get some
had no choice but to walk past Willowveil’s front yard on the way to
Tourkia. She dreaded it. She really did not want to get drawn into a
conversation with Andrew again. Not, at least, with out the help of a
trained psychologist. Regretfully, she acknowledged that her formerly
stable angelic friend may just need one. The whole blasted place seemed
to need one! She considered turning around and heading to St. Andrew’s
to get Dr. Johnson from the psych floor. But she decided to give Jarrod
a chance to explain all this.
she drew near the castle
she heard shouting. Drawing closer still she saw Adam, Tess, Andrew,
and Jarrod himself! She smiled with relief. Finding Jarrod, Adam, and
Tess was a relief. Surely at least one of the three had sense enough to
help her aid their obviously troubled friends. Jarrod, Adam, and Tess
were tossing around a football. Andrew, however, was alternating making
a daisy chain and cheering on the other three. Margherita shook her
head and walked past him.
you guys! I’m so glad I found you! This place has gone absolutely nuts
since I left! I mean… look at Andrew!” she cried and pointed to the
wrong with him?” Jarrod asked.
opened her mouth to answer but then only looked in horror as a turkey
came waddling up to Jarrod. Jarrod beamed and then hugged the turkey.
Then, as if on cue, another Dyelander wandered into the yard wearing a
halter top. Jarrod frowned, hugged the turkey once more, then set him
Don’t you need some straps or something to hold that up?” he yelled and
ran after the woman.
you going to say anything?” Margherita questioned Adam.
eyebrows furrowed. “About what?”
girl with the strapless top! Doesn’t that make you nervous? I mean like
when Monica wore that strapless black… never mind,” Margherita cut
herself off when Adam only stared at her in confusion. “Clearly there’s
more than one certifiable AOD in this place,” she muttered.
well, since our football game seems to have been disrupted, I’m going
to Lazy Lake to fish. Catch ya later!” Adam called as he walked away.
waved and then withdrew a bottle of apple juice from her bag as well as
a novel. “Can I help you with anything?” she asked Margherita before
opening the cover of an obviously well-read copy of “Les Miserables.”
shook her head and ambled off. Then she heard footsteps behind her.
me alone, Andrew. I’m going home to Idlewild, I’m going to sleep, and
hopefully when I wake up you all will have a bit more sense to you,”
Margherita snapped once he trotted up to her.
looked hurt. Then he began twisting a ring that she didn’t recall him
ever having before. “I’m sorry I just…”
Margherita watched in horror as the angel of death had a complete
emotional break down that would have put Lady JenniAnn (before she had
a radical personality change like the rest of Dyeland) to shame.
want my godfather!!!” Andrew wailed. “I want Vincent!!!”
Shh… Andrew this is horridly undignified! And you have no godfather. I
think we need to get you to St. Andrew’s,” Margherita said quietly,
trying to calm him.
someone call me?” a man’s voice sounded behind Margherita.
Andrew cried and ran to… Henry.
there. It’s okay,” Henry led Andrew to a shaded spot and they sat down.
“How about I tell you the story of Demeter and Persephone.”
please, Vincent!” Andrew smiled merrily and Henry began the myth.
shook her head and walked away as Andrew began to braid his own hair.
bleep just happened?!?
(Photo Credits: The photographs used on this page are from "Touched by
an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline Productions, and Moon
Water Productions. They are not being used to seek profit.)