Sure, love is a many
splendoured thing. At least that's what the songs tell
us. But what about those unlucky in love? What
happens to them? Well, Mrs. Manion is one such
person. In "Heart of the Beholder", John's philandering
character Eric Manion is clearly seen wearing a wedding
ring. That got me thinking about the poor woman who had
to find out about her husband's multiple indiscretions and
downright creepiness... publicly! So last August I felt
compelled to write the following. It's a lil more...
mature than my usual style but I couldn't resist this lil
ditty about how not to quietly accept one's mate's grave
faults. So here it is....
Mrs. Manion's Irish Drinking Song
Oh once I wed a man named Eric
Me family thought him quite a catch
But then he left me quite hysteric
Cause he wasn't a good match
Ye know, I had me some angry rants
But I'm not gonna act all forlorn.
Cause he couldn't keep on his pants
He'll soon wish he'd not been born!
First I tore up his baseball cards
I called his girls, told em he had lice
Collected his Armani 'n burnt it in the yards
Oh, m'dear Eric, adultery has its price!
So if any of ya boys get it in your heads
Or in any other parts of your anatomy
To go seeking company in other beds
You'll meet a new "friend"... Miss Alimony!
Haha. Hope you enjoyed that. If not... well, may
be "The
Uninvited
Guest" is more your speed. Or you can try these
helpful tips from JABB's advice columnist, Dear Annie
Dru. You can find her contact info here
should you ever need advice on matters of love, life, and
being a John Dye fan.
How to Survive Valentine's Day
1. So you didn't get a bouquet of roses this year?
Put a positive spin on it! One less rosebush was
senselessly murdered!
2. Plan a get-together with other Valentine-less
friends. Watch some of those made-for-TV movies wherein
the woman finds out her husband:
* has a second wife
* is a serial killer
* married her just so he could kill her and take her money
* is having an affair with her best friend or sister... or
both
Betcha don't want a boyfriend so much after that!
3. Get all dressed up and dance by yourself to Chaka
Khan's "I'm Every Woman" or "Respect" by Aretha Franklin.
4. Watch TBAA. Cause Andrew is muy guapo and
should be able to distract you out of your gloomy funk.
5. Whenever someone wishes you a happy Valentine's day,
tear up and sadly say "It's just so sad that the Romans beat
and beheaded poor Valentine..." Your well-wisher gets a
history lesson and you get to watch them squirm
uncomfortably. It can be really fun to mess with
people. ;-)
6. Just think... at least you're not married to the guy
Manion's based on.
JABB
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(Photo Credits: The photograph used on this page is
from "Heart of the Beholder" and owned by River City
Entertainment and Catchlight Films.)