I
hope you had a lot of fun this New Year’s but that everyone was
responsible. I was just glad, working as an English teacher at
the time, I didn’t have to work New Year’s Eve. That’s a hectic
time for we AODs usually. JenniAnn asked me to write something
for this week’s issue since she didn’t have much for it. I
suppose I owe her that much for wearing all black clothing and
consoling me when I was drugged for a good portion of last month.
That sounded bad, didn’t it? Unless you’re a member of the JABB YahooGroup.
So, because of my recent assignment, I’ve
decided to write my part in the form of an essay. I present to
you:
How
I Rang In 
By Andrew
The
day started out calmly. I met Monica for some breakfast and
coffee at her latest cafe find somewhere in Milwaukee. Around
four I got a call from a police officer in a little Midwest town.
He informed me someone there wanted to speak to
me. I was taken
aback, unaware of any past assignments there. You can imagine my
surprise when it was Adam. Apparently he’d had a very fruitful
assignment which put him in a very jovial mood. So he took to the
streets of the town and launched into a verse of “Getting to Know You”
from “The King and I.” Well, a cop presumed he was a New Year’s
Eve reveler getting an early start on the alcohol-consumption. So
I had to go and explain that he was prone to such outbursts of show
tunes. Don’t anyone worry. He’s fine now and onto his next
assignment.
I
returned to my house in Dyeland, Serendipity. I really had
planned to venture to the party over at Willowveil but feared getting
mobbed at midnight like last year. Nonetheless, the party-goers
found me. First came Lady JenniAnn.
“Gonna
go to Narnia!” she cried and pushed past me.
“That
sounds like fun, Lady JenniAnn, I hope you enjoy the movie,” I answered.
“Uh,
nope… Actually goin’ there. Need your wardrobe, mine
doesn’t work,” she whispered conspiratorially. I noticed then her
eyes seemed a little off and she looked a bit flushed.
“JenniAnn,
err, have you had just a bit too much to drink, do you think?”
“Only
had some orange thingy. Had a V on it. V for virgin!” she
answered loudly, climbing the stairs and heading to the guestroom.
“Or
possibly for vodka…” I suggested, trying not to laugh as I
followed. “Does the name screwdriver mean anything to you?”
“There
it is!” She’d spotted the wardrobe and disregarded my
question. I watched then as she climbed in. “Well, aren’t
ya gonna come along?”
“You
know, I think I’ll wait here for a bit,” I responded, waiting to see
how this unfolded.
“It’s
broken, too,” she announced after a few moments and stepped out.
“Let’s look for your screwdriver.”
“What
are you… oh. No, I meant I think you may have drank a
screwdriver. Or two or three.”
JenniAnn
rolled her eyes. “Andrew, are you drunk? You can’t drink a
screwdriver, it’s metal! Let’s have some coffee.”
“Excellent
idea,” I agreed. She downed a couple cappuccinos and,
considerably sturdier, left my house. I shook my head and was
just going to sit down and read when I heard saxophone music.
Then there was a pounding at my door. I hurried to answer
it. “Jess, what can I do for you?”
“Get
your drums!” she commanded.
I
looked at her, confused. “If you’ll tell me why you want my
drums, I might see about getting them.”
“I
don’t need them, you do!” she said.
I
was beginning to suspect she also was a bit tipsy. “Okay why do
*I* need my drums?”
“We’re
starting a band, silly! Margherita is lead vocals. We think
‘Death and the Maidens’ is a cool name. What do you think?” she
smiled brightly.
“I
think…” I was distracted by Margherita who stood behind her attempting
to croon “Auld Lang Syne” and trying to do an Irish jig.
“Well?”
“Brrr…”
I hugged myself and began bouncing around as if unbearably
chilled. “It’s cold out here. Care for some coffee to warm
up with?” I didn’t wait for an answer before ushering Jess in and
beckoning to Margherita who nearly tripped on her way inside. I
set a couple French vanilla cappuccinos in front of them and waited for
the results. Eventually they also left, visions of “Death and the
Maidens” at least temporarily banished.
I
returned to the comfort of my recliner, ready to enjoy an evening with
Wordsworth, when I felt a pull to the windows. I glanced out and
saw Lady Beth standing by herself and looking lonesome.
“Lady
Beth, can I help you?” I asked after stepping outside to join
her. “Why aren’t you at the party? My previous experiences
tonight lead me to believe they’re having quite the time over there,” I
added, smiling and shaking my head in recollection.
Lady
Beth gave me a small smile. “I suppose it’s just hard being
relatively new here, trying to fit in.”
“Well,
would you like me to go over there with you so you don’t show up
alone?”
Lady
Beth brightened at the idea and we headed over.
Imagine
my shock when I entered the ballroom to find my recent coffee drinking
mates on stage.
“Oooh!!
Perfect timing, Andrew! This one’s for you, hon, for getting us
all hyped up on caffeine!” JenniAnn shouted, twisting her ring about as
she often does for reasons unknown to myself.
“One,
two… one, two, three…” Jess said and then began playing her
saxophone. JenniAnn began running around the stage ringing a
cowbell. Then Margherita began singing “Don’t Fear the
Reaper.”
Somewhere
Blue Oyster Cult was weeping. 0:-) But for everyone else it
was quite entertaining and I’m glad I made it over to the party.
Always good to ring in a new year with friends, even if they are
somewhat tipsy or caffeine-drunk. Or both.