I hope you had a lot of fun this New Year’s but that everyone was responsible.  I was just glad, working as an English teacher at the time, I didn’t have to work New Year’s Eve.  That’s a hectic time for we AODs usually.  JenniAnn asked me to write something for this week’s issue since she didn’t have much for it.  I suppose I owe her that much for wearing all black clothing and consoling me when I was drugged for a good portion of last month.  That sounded bad, didn’t it?  Unless you’re a member of the JABB YahooGroup.  So, because of my recent assignment, I’ve decided to write my part in the form of an essay.  I present to you:

How I Rang In

By Andrew

The day started out calmly.  I met Monica for some breakfast and coffee at her latest cafe find somewhere in Milwaukee.  Around four I got a call from a police officer in a little Midwest town.  He informed me someone there wanted to speak to
me.  I was taken aback, unaware of any past assignments there.  You can imagine my surprise when it was Adam.  Apparently he’d had a very fruitful assignment which put him in a very jovial mood.  So he took to the streets of the town and launched into a verse of “Getting to Know You” from “The King and I.”  Well, a cop presumed he was a New Year’s Eve reveler getting an early start on the alcohol-consumption.  So I had to go and explain that he was prone to such outbursts of show tunes.  Don’t anyone worry.  He’s fine now and onto his next assignment.

I returned to my house in Dyeland, Serendipity.  I really had planned to venture to the party over at Willowveil but feared getting mobbed at midnight like last year.  Nonetheless, the party-goers found me.  First came Lady JenniAnn. 

“Gonna go to Narnia!” she cried and pushed past me.

“That sounds like fun, Lady JenniAnn, I hope you enjoy the movie,” I answered.

“Uh, nope…  Actually goin’ there.  Need your wardrobe, mine doesn’t work,” she whispered conspiratorially.  I noticed then her eyes seemed a little off and she looked a bit flushed.

“JenniAnn, err, have you had just a bit too much to drink, do you think?”

“Only had some orange thingy.  Had a V on it.  V for virgin!” she answered loudly, climbing the stairs and heading to the guestroom.

“Or possibly for vodka…” I suggested, trying not to laugh as I followed.  “Does the name screwdriver mean anything to you?”

“There it is!”  She’d spotted the wardrobe and disregarded my question.  I watched then as she climbed in.  “Well, aren’t ya gonna come along?”

“You know, I think I’ll wait here for a bit,” I responded, waiting to see how this unfolded.

“It’s broken, too,” she announced after a few moments and stepped out.  “Let’s look for your screwdriver.”

“What are you… oh.  No, I meant I think you may have drank a screwdriver.  Or two or three.”

JenniAnn rolled her eyes.  “Andrew, are you drunk?  You can’t drink a screwdriver, it’s metal!  Let’s have some coffee.”

“Excellent idea,” I agreed.  She downed a couple cappuccinos and, considerably sturdier, left my house.  I shook my head and was just going to sit down and read when I heard saxophone music.  Then there was a pounding at my door.  I hurried to answer it.  “Jess, what can I do for you?”

“Get your drums!” she commanded.

I looked at her, confused.  “If you’ll tell me why you want my drums, I might see about getting them.”

“I don’t need them, you do!” she said.

I was beginning to suspect she also was a bit tipsy.  “Okay why do *I* need my drums?”

“We’re starting a band, silly!  Margherita is lead vocals.  We think ‘Death and the Maidens’ is a cool name.  What do you think?” she smiled brightly.

“I think…” I was distracted by Margherita who stood behind her attempting to croon “Auld Lang Syne” and trying to do an Irish jig. 


“Brrr…” I hugged myself and began bouncing around as if unbearably chilled.  “It’s cold out here.  Care for some coffee to warm up with?”  I didn’t wait for an answer before ushering Jess in and beckoning to Margherita who nearly tripped on her way inside.  I set a couple French vanilla cappuccinos in front of them and waited for the results.  Eventually they also left, visions of “Death and the Maidens” at least temporarily banished.

I returned to the comfort of my recliner, ready to enjoy an evening with Wordsworth, when I felt a pull to the windows.  I glanced out and saw Lady Beth standing by herself and looking lonesome. 

“Lady Beth, can I help you?” I asked after stepping outside to join her.  “Why aren’t you at the party?  My previous experiences tonight lead me to believe they’re having quite the time over there,” I added, smiling and shaking my head in recollection.

Lady Beth gave me a small smile.  “I suppose it’s just hard being relatively new here, trying to fit in.”

“Well, would you like me to go over there with you so you don’t show up alone?”

Lady Beth brightened at the idea and we headed over. 

Imagine my shock when I entered the ballroom to find my recent coffee drinking mates on stage. 

“Oooh!!  Perfect timing, Andrew!  This one’s for you, hon, for getting us all hyped up on caffeine!” JenniAnn shouted, twisting her ring about as she often does for reasons unknown to myself. 

“One, two… one, two, three…” Jess said and then began playing her saxophone.  JenniAnn began running around the stage ringing a cowbell.  Then Margherita began singing “Don’t Fear the Reaper.” 

Somewhere Blue Oyster Cult was weeping.  0:-)  But for everyone else it was quite entertaining and I’m glad I made it over to the party.  Always good to ring in a new year with friends, even if they are somewhat tipsy or caffeine-drunk.  Or both.  

 Happy 2006 Dyeland!!

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