“I wish the bald
eagle had not been chosen as the representative of our country; he is a
bird of bad moral character…
The turkey is, in comparison, a much more respectable bird, and withal
a true original native of America…
He is, though a little vain and silly, it is true, but not the worse
emblem for that, a bird of courage.”
Franklin, January 26, 1784
Here we are again! Hope you enjoy this thrown together issue! It's...
pretty scattered. :-) Been busy with work and all. Happy Thanksgiving
to those of you in the States and who may be celebrating it elsewhere.
The holiday season is definitely upon us now! Which brings me to that
Dyeland holiday card I mentioned last time. If you want to receive one
please email me your snail mail addy no later than November 30th. If
you'd like in on signing the card, please scan your message and
signature and email it to me or just email it to me in the text of an
email with info about the font and color you'd like used when I print
it. This needs to be done by November 30th also or it will NOT be
included. Finally, the actual cover of the card will features
photographs of the Dyeland Christmas tree with ornaments symbolizing
our various members. If you'd like to be represented, please email me
with ideas for your ornament no later than the morning of the 26th.
Please let me know ASAP if you have questions about any of this.
Now, enjoy JABB 179!
Things overheard at Dyeland's
this turkey-like substance is even better than the turkey-like substance
served us for Canadian Thanksgiving last month!"
"I'm thankful for Andrew. And his hair."
please tell Monica basting the turkey-like substance in coffee
is NOT a good idea."
you Gloria for that enlightening lecture on the origins of the
cornucopia but really I just wanted you to pass me the cranberry
“Glad Kiwi is away and busy or else there might be a food fight and a
"I'm thankful Manion does not live here."
Tess: “Tess is thankful for all her JABB Babies and Angel Boys and
Andrew: “Thank you Lady JenniAnn, for not playing with my hair.”
Lady JenniAnn: “Hmm?? What?? Oh… yeah. Sure.” ::returns to staring
dreamily at Andrew::
“Dyeland- The only place where the term ‘serving the turkey’ really
means serving the turkeys… Ted, Tom you want some pumpkin pie?”
From Adam: “So would anyone be interested in my Honey Glazed Ham-like
substance for Christmas dinner next month?”
Okay, so it's no secret John Dye isn't exactly producing a blockbuster
a year or anything. Which makes it kinda hard to write JABB. So I've
taken to looking for inspiration wherever I can get it. And thus far
that's worked out pretty well. But what if I took things just a lil too
far and started using ideas that have no place in JABB??? Kudos to you
if you can name what current movies these are from (especially if
you've not yet looked at my playlist). Some are repeated.
Ten Signs Jenni is Getting Inspiration for JABB from this Movie
10. A deluded Lady JenniAnn and visibly uncomfortable Andrew sing what
is possibly the most awkward rendition of "Jackson" ever recorded. Yes,
that'd be the "We got married in a fever" song.
9. Ted and Tom, Adam's turkeys, upset everyone when they run around
Dyeland gobbling "The sky is falling!" Everyone ignores their doomsday
prophecies. Which is really too bad because they were actually just
trying to get someone to play the TBAA episode "The Sky is Falling."
Because they enjoy watching Andrew pout and lack the opposable thumbs
needed to operate the VCR.
8. Monica wears a tight black bodysuit and tries to get everyone to moo.
7. Widespread confusion falls over Dyeland when males start being
referred to as "sons of Adam." Adam avers that he never got anyone
pregnant. After all, just Monica in a strapless dress made him
6. Androoler University enters some sort of magic tournament thingy.
Andrew turns out to not be safe there any more and the return of his
archnemesis, Eben, is approaching... There's a flaming cup... Ugh, I'm
sorry I really don't follow "Harry Potter" so can't even make a decent
item about it but I know if I don't mention it as one of the big hits
of the season, I'll hear about it!
5. Members of JABB try to think of ways to measure one year in the life
of Andrew. They eschew "daylights, sunsets, midnights and cups of
coffee" in favor of leather jackets, prayers on staircases, tool belts,
and, well, they'll stick with using cups of coffee. He drinks with
Monica a lot so it seems like a good measure!
4. A certain currently playing cinematic adaptation of a classic novel
makes everyone think of a certain BBC miniseries of the same novel. As
a result, Andrew is made to jump into a lake whilst wearing a white
3. Adam takes to dressing like Mrs. Claus (complete with wig) and does
a song and dance number about persuading Chiwawa to jump off the roof.
2. Andrew is turned into stone by some chick dressed all in white. Good
looking statue, of course, but it’s still pretty sad.
And finally the number 1 sign JABB is being based off one of this
1. Andrew manages to escape a reprise of "Jackson" and instead
serenades JenniAnn with the much more appropriate "It Ain't Me, Babe."
Unfortunately, it's still Andrew singing so it ain't helping her (or
anyone) move on!
Lastly, a joke sent in by Jarrod in honor of the holiday. We feel it
works with our PG rating, if you don’t… well… too late now! LOL
Here is a turkey recipe that also includes the use of popcorn as a
stuffing - imagine that!
When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me
who just are not sure how to tell when turkey is thoroughly cooked, but
not dried out. Give this a try.
BAKED STUFFED TURKEY
6-7 lb. turkey
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is good.)
1 cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHERS LOW FAT)
Salt/pepper to taste
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter,
salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in
baking pan and into oven with neck end towards back of oven. Listen for
the popping sounds. When the turkey's ass blows the oven door open and
the turkey flies across the room, IT IS DONE.
(Origin of joke unknown)
(Photo Credits: The photographs used on this page are from "Touched by
an Angel" and owned by CBS Productions, Caroline Productions, and Moon
Water Productions. They are not being used to seek profit.)