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"Saint Anne's Reel"
Welcome to another wonderful issue of JABB! Where obsession over John is a healthy livelihood! Take pride in your drool, just *don't* over do it! Hope you enjoy St. Patrick's Day issue of JABB. I think this one will be dedicated to John's costar Ms. Downey! It's the whole Irish thing, don't ya know!
Okay, lately I have realized something. Some people have no
appreciation for John or Andrew! In fact some of them call him a wimp,
wuss, and worse! So to help combat this problem I've established this
little list. Next time anyone dares to make fun of John in your
presence just read this too them! If it doesn't help just rest assured
you have many friends at JABB ready to listen to your Anti-Andrew woes.
Also let me know if you have anything to add to this list. I'm gonna
show it to my Anti-Andrew friends to prove em wrong! Email Jenni
Top Ten Reasons why John/Andrew is most dyefinately not a wimp/wuss.....
10. Andrew's got a really tough job and handles it well. Same applies to John. Poor guy has people scared of him!
9. Karate Movies!
8. It takes a big man to cry (or show much emotion for that matter).
7. Come on, the guy gets all his pictures taken in a pick up truck!
6. The very name Andrew means "manly"! (Interestingly the names Virgil and Adam from Best of the Best and Perfect Weapon mean strong and manly.)
5. I don't really think you would find hundreds of women drooling over a wimp.
4. Long hair makes him look girlie they say? Just open your Bible! What kinda hair do you think Moses, Jesus, Abraham, etc., had?!?!
3. Three words: Black Leather Jacket
2. The guy sacrificed his own hair for poor lil Chiwawa's warmth!
And the number one reason John/Andrew is not a wimp/wuss......
BECAUSE JABB SAYS HE'S NOT!!!!!!!!!!
Limericks (NOTE: Written while under the influence of cough
There once was a man named Dye.
He was one great guy.
He signed his letters "God bless"
And had great sense in dress
So for him let's happily cry!
There once was a lad named John
He did something very, very wrong.
He was in a rut
So his hair he did cut.
But at least its not totally gone!
There once was an angel named Andrew.
His fans, they were one great crew.
For him they would drool.
They loved the belt with the tool.
Their love for him grew and grew!
There once was an actor named "Dye"
Who never could tell a lie
When asked of the voice
Of his costar's rejoice
He'd cover his ears and cry!*
There once was an "Agent of Death"
Who sought to see his assignment's last breath
The breathtaking AOD
was called "Andy"
And now the poor fool is deaf!*
There once was a man named John
Who tried to sing an Irish Song
But then in joined Roma
And they fell into a coma
And the only one left standing was Ron.*
Then once was a boy from Miss'ippi
Whom no one thought to be a hippie
His smile so bright
Let in so much light
That now all the girls feel real tippy.*
*by Audrey, all others by Jenni
I have decided that because a number of you fine, law-abiding citizens have decided the JABB rules do not apply to you, that I should list the possible *punishements* for the above mentioned -- the violators of JABB rules! Below is a well-thought out list of what will happen if you so chose to break our "10 commandments" or violate our "12 step program." Please take this into careful consideration before you so blatantly break our rules. I understand that dyrooling over John is hard to overcome, especially with the new "Andrew-dyetess" sweeping through the lands at an amazing rate. But please try to contain your dyerooling ways! Because of these reasons, you have five chances instead of three. Please use them carefully!
1st offense -- 5 minutes of enduring Kiwi and her dyevilish dyealect.
2nd offense -- 10 unpenetrable minutes of Roma Downey and Yours Truly singing!
3rd offense -- 15 minutes spent bathing/grooming our beloved Chiwawa.
4th offense -- 20 minutes of listening to Della chew you out for being bad.
5th offense -- 30 minutes of obeying orders given by none other than John Dye.