Back in issue 128 we brought you a quiz that was designed to determine what sort of Andrew fan you are.  I felt it was time for another personality quiz so JABB presents…
What Kind of Androoler are You?
(The Murder Trial Edition)



Just choose the reaction which is closest to what yours would most likely be if you found yourself in the given scenario.  Keep track of how many of each letter you choose.  

1.  News reaches you that Andrew has been arrested and charged with murder.  You:
A.  Begin baking.  You’re going to make Andrew the best looking and best tasting cake ever.  It’ll be great.  No really, everything’s fine.  This is just fine… Really.
B.  Ask if he has a lawyer.  If not, start making phone calls.  Start to determine whether you can come up with an alibi for him that doesn’t reveal too much about his identity.
C.   Start howling.  This is horrible.  Life has lost its beauty.  
D.  Get yourself gussied up and head to the jail.  Cops in uniform are awfully attractive.  Surely it wouldn’t be a bad thing if you met someone out of this…

2.  Okay, so you’re in the visiting room.  Andrew’s just walked in.  You:
A.  Cheerily serve him some of the cake.  Of course the knife was confiscated so he literally just gets a handful.
B.  Determine whether the prison conditions are suitable.  If not, begin calling politicians to demand reform.  Also, ask Andrew if there’s anything he needs.
C.  Oh…  God, no…  There’s a smudge on his jumpsuit.  Did another inmate try to beat him up?!?  Ah!!  This is horrid, horrid.  Cling to him and commence sobbing.
D.  That guard that led you in was awfully cute…  Ask Andrew if he knows if he’s married.

3.  It’s opening day at the trial.  The prosecutor has just said some unkind things about poor Andrew.  You:
A.  Pull out your notebook.  Make a to-do list.  Those drapes really need to be washed.  Also make grocery list.  Andrew deserves another cake.
B.  Pay close attention.  Make notes of any holes in his story.  If you can, say a few encouraging things to Andrew when the court takes a recess.
C.  Start screaming at the lawyer.  Then go into hysterics as the bailiff escorts you out.
D.  Notice that bailiff that just pulled your friend out has gorgeous eyes.  Your friend has all the luck…  Consider faking an emotional breakdown yourself.

4.  You exit the courthouse and a small crowd has formed.  They’re demanding Andrew be punished and not in the nicest of terms.  You:
A.  Keep focused on your plans for the rest of the day.  Take a deep breath.  You hope he doesn’t hear the yells but you’ll have an apricot torte ready and waiting for him back at the jail.
B.  Feel sorry for them.  They are in pain, after all.  Try to keep the less stable members of your party from flying off the handle.  Pray for guidance.
C.  Tear up.  You feel so sad for them.  So sad for Andrew who is being unjustly punished.  Sad for the victim.  It’s just all so very, very sad.  Thank God for your friend who pulls you into the group’s van before you make another scene.
D.  Take a break from your usual activities and offer up a prayer.  You may be boy crazy but you’re not completely shameless.

5.  Andrew is allowed to phone the house where everyone is staying during the proceedings.  During your time to speak with him you discuss:
A.  If there’s anything you can do for him.  Anything you can bake or cook?  Any yard work he’d like done when he gets out?
B.  Fill him in on all that’s been happening with the group.  Keep him updated on the efforts being made to help his case.  
C.  He’s not really sure what you’re discussing.  But, God bless him, he’s really trying to understand what you’re saying in between the sobs.
D.  That guard.  Has he found out if he’s married yet?  Naturally, also ask if Andrew needs anything.  Offer to come visit him as much as he’d like.

6.  You go to visit Andrew again.  When you get there you notice his jumpsuit is torn.  You:
A.  Whip out that emergency sewing kit you always carry.  There, good as new!  
B.  Question him.  How did that happen?  Apparently he accidentally snagged it out in the yard.  Feel relief and ask for his opinion on a protest line you’d like to get ready for the next trial date.
C.  You knew it!  You knew something was very, very wrong here.  Tearfully apologize for the cruelty of your fellow human.  Feel a lil foolish when he explains about accidentally tearing it himself.  Beg the guard to watch over him more carefully nonetheless.
D.  Apologize to the guard for your friend's antics, hoping he’ll be impressed by your loyalty to friends and level-headedness and ask you out.

7.  Your non-Androoler friends insist you are too wrapped up in Andrew’s latest drama.  They try to talk you into going on a trip with them to take your mind off it.  You:
A.  Make them dinner then escape out the kitchen window and go stand outside the jail singing a ballad you wrote about Andrew.
B.  Tell them how you’ve invested a lot of time and energy into his defense and you don’t want to leave now.  Then try to get them to sign up for shifts for your protest outside the courthouse.
C.  Throw yourself on the floor, yell at them for butting their heads into your business, then run into your room, slam the door and refuse to come out.
D.  Are torn.  Especially when they bring up the possibility of meeting new people (males specifically).  But Andrew needs you so you defer.  At least until next week.

8.  Okay…  The verdict is being read and it’s… guilty.  You:
A.  Decide to paint your living room and begin wildly throwing paint on the wall and slamming paint buckets shut.
B.  Confront your sadness and anger but then get to work on the appeals process.
C.  Become a banshee.  Everyone just needs to leave you alone.  You’re in a very dark place right now.
D.  After shooting poor Andrew a sympathetic look, haul Type C to the psych ward.  Flirt with her psychiatrist.  

9.  Okay, really the verdict is innocent.  Yay!  So you:
A.  Party time!  Good thing you know how to cook cause you're sure Andrew’s ready for something other than the proverbial bread and water!
B.  Relax and take Andrew out for a drink.  Probably of the non-alcoholic variety.  At least for him.
C.  Jump on the prosecution table and do your Happy Dance for all to see.
D.  Hug Andrew, tell him how grateful you are to have him free again.  But did he ever happen to find out about that guard’s marital status?

10.  Finally, everyone’s celebrating Andrew’s release at Monica’s Café in Dyeland.  You are most likely to be found:
A.  In the fetal position somewhere.  After all this time of hiding your emotions the mask has fallen…
B.  Celebrating!  Ya did good!  
C.  Fawning over Andrew.  Alternating between happy tears and shrieks of joy.
D.  Dancing, singing, eating, and just generally living it up.  But… Dyeland really needs more guys.  Like human ones.  No offense to the AODs…

Okay, now you know the drill.  Add em up!  
 

If you have mostly A’s you’re a Sublimating Androoler- You’re probably quite creative and have lots of hobbies.  And that’s great!  Unless you use those things to hide behind and never show emotion.  Or just hold everything in until it comes out in a great dramatic burst that makes you look like Type C (which we’ll get to later).  But if Andrew were arrested, he’d probly be really grateful to you since he’d undoubtedly get most of the fruits of your creative endeavors.  But he may also be concerned for you because, after all, he is Andrew and that’s what he does.

If you have mostly B’s you’re a Productive Androoler- On the surface you may look a lot like a Sublimating Androoler.  But you’re not afraid to show emotion and if you’re going to invest a lot of time in a project, you want to see results.  You’re probably quite reliable which makes you a godsend to others (particular types A and C).  Once Andrew’s free we really hope you got some major vegging out time and a big hug from Angel Boy!

If you have mostly C’s you’re an Uber-Emotional Androoler- You’ve been told you wear your heart on a sleeve.  May be even that you’re a wimp.  But you’re really not and at least you don’t keep everything bottled up.  But do try to keep in mind how your outbursts effect others.  After all, it is *Andrew* who is in jail, not you.  Consider using your emotional energies for a creative endeavor.  You and Type A can probly learn a lot from each other!  Also drink lots of water.  With all those tears we don’t want you dehydrating! 

If you have mostly D’s you’re an Androoler on the Prowl- Andrew is great.  Really he is.  You love him very much but you’re no fool.  He ain’t gonna marry you.  So, of course, you’re always looking for the human Mr. Right.  That doesn’t mean you neglect Andrew during his time of need.  But hey isn’t everyone multi-tasking nowadays?  And we’re sure if you do find that special someone Andrew will be the first person on your invite list.  And hopefully not attending with a police escort. 

If that quiz made you want to read the "Andrew on Trial" story or if you're just plain really bored, please see JABB 163 Option 1.

JABB TOC

Newsletter 164