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Good Evening JABBers! I understand a lot of our "higher generation"
JABBers may be in bed already (WIMPS!), but that's OK. They'll just be
behind in the game of Androoling! I think that I should address an
issue that only Kiwi seems to have fully caught on to; the AAA and my
involvement. Sure I am a member of the Anti-Androoling Elite, but you
should be, too! I have devised a scheme to overthrow the AAA from
within. Once I earn their trust, I will slowly drag in others and
before they know it, the AAA will be overcome with dyrool! They will
have no choice but to flee for their sanity!
Your faithful JABB Co-President Audrey.
WARNING: From the New Zealand Authorities!
Extreme caution recommended.
In a report just in, Health Professionals the world over are reporting and have dyescovered a new dyesease circling the globe. There is NO known cure, but scientists are working round the clock to come up with a vaccine to counter the strange sidye effects brought about by this new dyebilitating dyesorder.
The dyesease is named Andrew-dyetess, after the man, who experts say, was the primary cause of the contamination, and its dyesgusting sidyed effects. This rare, but painless dyesease seems to only be affecting women, who call themselves Androolers, at this stage. It has no dyescrimination in age, location or race. It can be contacted on first sight, or will work its way slowly into the host, without their knowledge.
The known symptoms of Andrewdyetess are:
Severe eye strain from staring too hard and too long at any TV, Mag, book, computer etc where a picture of the dye man may appear. Ear aches from straining to hear his name Andrew, or any of the aliases he is also known to go by. These include John Dye, Angelboy, Todd, Doc Hock, Virgil, Adam, Greg and Jeff. Women suffering from Andrewdyetess will also tend to dyerool and dyeribble uncontrollably, dyegest large quantities of chocolate and slowly become more obsessed each passing dye, eventually becoming hermits glued to their videos, tv and computer screens. They are only able to speak, think and dyeream of the one man, and even speak a new language the Androolers call the Dyelish Dyealect, but sounds much like gibberish to everyone else, especially men.
If you see anyone, or you yourself are dyesplaying any of these dyecerning haracteristics, get help immediately. 'Having and living with Andrewdyetess will be a fate worse than dyeeath,' says Professional Anti-androoler, Professor Henry Higgins.
But the Androolers themselves have been heard to say, "I'm dyeing for dyeeath, take me home Andrew."
*If you or anyone you know show any of these symptioms, please contact Jenni or myself. We need to get you the needed medical attetion. We can help you! Only draw back is that in *most* cases, it only makes matters worse.
Top Ten Reason Chiwawa is Named Exactly That
10. It's all Audrey's fault.
9. Because "Mighty Mouse" was already taken.
8. Because "Dye Dog" seemed inappropriate.
7. BECAUSE *I* SAID SO!!
6. Because certain high ranking members of the JABB staff do not know how to spell.
5. Becuase he is named in honoor of Wiblie, our beloveed spell checker.
4. Jenni's Dad felt that name was fitting of a Chihuahua in a toolbelt.
3. Because Chihuahua is to hard to spell (and say for that matter!)
2. Because that's how he told us to spell it! DUH!
1. IT'S NOT AUDREY'S FAULT!
Death is Andrew-like, in every way and form.
Or is Andrew deathlike, when death sits in the eye of a storm?
With battles raging along the outside and peace within the core.
With angels watching over you, Heaven will never be a bore.
Bright sunshine glistens on the running spring
and evil hides its ugly face knowing it doesn't mean a thing.
That doesn't mean that It won't fight the world outside our realm
By cheating kids and killing dogs underneath the elm
And still the battling sun, struggles day and night
To overcome the master of temptation and His ongoing fight.
Forever will this creature toy with our precious souls
And as long as we have angels watching, they will protect our goals.
And keep us within the peaceful core of every hurricane
Not letting the Evil Spirit drive us totally insane!
And in this sense, Death is Andrew-like, wouldn't you agree?
Or is Andrew is deathlike, when death sits beneath a tree?
John Dye Plays Andrew
No! I didn't forget the country fans! Here's Garth Brook's "The River" (LOL isn't he the best Kiwi!?!)