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"Nobody Knows the Trouble"

Hi everyone!  This issue was really a group effort!  I'd like to thank Henriette for inspiring the cooking show piece during our Andrew's birthday chat and JABB co-founder Audrey for writing it.  I really enjoyed it and hope you all do, too.  And cause I was inspired I wrote a lil something else myself.  :-)
I hope you enjoy this edition, next time Karen and I write to you it'll be our annual Halloween issue!!  Yay!  (Sorry Andrew...)
God bless

The Food Network is proud to present …

            Angel food cake in a whole new light …

                        With Angels making the cake!


Narrator:  Tonight we have three special guests: Angels from heaven will be making tonight's dessert.

Andrew: Today we are making Banana Split Cake in honor of someone I am very close to. In fact, you could say we are *one and the same*

Narrator:  One and the same?!  Oh God.  Someone better tell John to get a restraining order out on Lady JenniAnn!

JenniAnn:  HEY!  I do not obsess in the “real world.” Thank you very much.

Andrew:  Yeah, sure.

Monica:  Why are we all bickering?  Aren't we supposed to be making food?

Andrew:  That's right.  Today we are making Banana Split Cake.

Narrator:  But you're supposed to be making ANGEL FOOD CAKE!  You can't just change what you make.

Andrew:  We're angels.  It's food and it's cake.

Narrator:  I never did like you.

Andrew:  ANYHOW!  Tonight we are making Banana Split Cake.  To start out, there are a few things you will need to get.

Monica:  Like coffee.

Andrew:  NO MONICA!  There is NO COFFEE in Banana Split Cake.

Monica:  I meant to drink, Andrew.  I'm not an idiot.

Narrator:  Oh, it looks like Andrew has his hands full tonight.

Monica:  Just what does that mean?

Narrator:  Oh nothing.

Andrew:  Anyhow.  Getting back to the show.  You are going to need a mixing bowl and a 9 x 14 inch pan.  I'll go over the ingredients as the show progresses.  First, mix 2 cups graham cracker crumbs and 1 stick melted margarine in a box.  Pour the mixture in the 9 x 14 inch pan and chill.

Tess:  I can do that.  But first, let's add some chocolate syrup.

Andrew:  TESS!  NO chocolate!

Tess:  But chocolate makes *everything* better.

Andrew:  Maybe next time.  This time, we do it my way.

Narrator:  Demanding isn't he?

Tess:  Yeah, who died and made him God?

Andrew:  Can I just make the cake?! ::Looks to camera and smiles a fake smile::  Next we beat 1 package of powered sugar – and remember to sift it first or it won't turn out quite as tasty – 2 8 oz. packages of cream cheese, and 1 tsp. vanilla.

Monica:  Oh, vanilla goes great in cappuccinos.

Andrew:  After beating the mixture, spread it over the crumb mixture.

Tess:  But it isn't chilled yet.

Andrew:  That's OK.  It'll be fine.  Besides, I already have one chilled and ready to go.

Tess:  But the people at home don't.

Andrew:  Don't worry about the people at home.  They are just taking notes and will make the dish later.

Monica:  What?!  They have to make their own plates too!?

Narrator:  Who invited her?

Andrew:  Next place banana slices and crushed pineapple on top of the creamy mixture in the pan.

Monica:  When did we slice the bananas?

Tess:  And who crushed the pineapple?

Andrew:  I did before the show.  ::To camera:: Before hand, it is a good idea to slice 4 to 5 bananas in preparation.  The crushed pineapples came from 1 20 oz. can, which can be purchased at your local grocery store.

Tess:  Oh, now you tell us.

Andrew: ::Rolls eyes:: Next spread cool whip topping over the fruit then sprinkle with chopped pecans and maraschino cherries.

Monica:  That does sound pretty good.  I wonder if that is a Starbucks flavor yet?

Andrew:  Moving on.  Refrigerate the cake.  In four hours you should have a cake that everyone will enjoy.  I took the liberty to make one earlier so you can see the finished result.

Narrator: Andrew is about to display his pride.  Let's see how it looks!

Andrew:  Hey!  Where did these French fries come from?!

::Credits Roll::


*Recipe from <>



More Fun with "Heart of the Beholder"

Okay so we have no idea when John's next movie will go into wide release but we hope it will.  It always pays to be prepared so here's my (Jenni's) to-do list regarding John's first post-TBAA movie:


1.  Watch "Last Temptation of Christ" since movie is what spurs action in "Heart."  Laugh at the insanity of David Bowie as Pilate.

2.  Watch "Labyrinth" just to show are no hard feeling towards David Bowie for letting extras crucify Willem Dafoe.  Decide David Bowie is awesome.

3.  Find boyfriend, will be needed to redeem the male population after prolonged exposure to Eric Manion.

4.  Replace everyone's drool buckets with foam "Eric you ignorant... mutt" bricks to be launched at movie screen at appropriate times.  (Yes I've been watching old SNL clips, why do you ask?)

5.  Apologize to my dog and mutts the world over for comparing them to Manion.

6.  See movie.  Cringe a lot.

7.  Rant at boyfriend about sins of the male population during post film dinner.  Debate becoming radical feminist.

8.  Find relationship counselor.  Apologize profusely to boyfriend who is looking a bit shell-shocked.

9.  Find the home of the real life inspiration for Manion.  TP it.  Nice bonding activity with boyfriend.

10.  Two weeks later: Force self to watch excessive amounts of TBAA, "Campus Man", and, yes, even those Christmas movies.

11.  Replace drool buckets.

12.  Wait for next movie.  Conclude John Dye is great actor considering am in love with one character and utterly despise other.  Shhh...  Don't tell boyfriend about former...


Newsletter 149