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"The Anniversary Waltz"

My name is JC Amory. I'm a film student, just trying to break into Hollywood. My professor challenged me to film a documentary. The possibilities were endless. Too endless... I couldn't settle on anything. So I did what any normal stressed college student does. I slept. When I woke up I was shocked to find myself in some place called Dyeland. I learned the people there were preparing to celebrate their 6th Anniversary of something called JABB. Seems for six years their people had been devoted (some said dyevoted which I never understood) to an actor named John Dye and some character he played. Andrew, angel of death. But apparently there was more to this story. And I, JC Amory, aspiring film-maker was going to find out! First I interviewed some members.


JC: Miriam is it? Tell me, what's your favorite thing about Andrew and/or John?

Miriam: I would have to say that, I love it when he is able to show up right when you need him the most. That he can comfort you and not show his own distress when he is really crying out in anguish to God.

JC: I see... So this anniversary is actually about the John/Andrew Bucket Brigade. Six years is a long time! Where would you like to see JABB go in the future?

Miriam: West Edmonton Mall!!!!!!! (Just Kidding) But it's an idea!

JC: Yeah... Earlier when I asked about John and Andrew, you seemed to be speaking about Andrew. What's your favorite memory of him?

Miriam: My favorite memory of Andrew happened in the children's book, "How do You Spell Faith?" He didn't give up on Annie even though she was ready to. I was going through a pretty crucial point in my life at that time, and I was physically and emotionally ready to give up. But, thankfully, I read that book and realized that I need to put my faith and trust in God and not in the material things of this earth.

JC: Thanks Miriam, for your help. That's truly inspirational.


I was touched by what Miriam had said. But confused. Who was this Andrew? Was he real? Was he fake? I sought clarification by going to another member. So I travelled to Lazy Lake to chat with Jess.


JC: Jess, nice to meet you. How did you become a JD/ Andrew fan?

Jess: Well let's see I was about 8 years old and I tuned into this show called "Touched By an Angel" and never thought much except to watch it every week when suddenly after a couple of weeks of watching it Andrew came on the show and I was like omg he is so good looking I want him to rescue me. It was around the second season. So every Sunday I tuned into the credits to check if John Dye's name would come up so I'd be sure to watch every second of his air time. Ever since then I have been totally obsessed with a certain AOD and awesome actor.

JC: Ha. Seems to be a lot of you like that. So Jess, how did you find out about JABB?

Jess: Well I was searching the internet this past April as I always am searching for new and diffferent things. Some days I will just pop into and check out the latest on some actor or actress or whatever I like. So I went on and typed in John Dye. I was checking out the usual pictures and sites I have seen numerous times and suddenly I came across this link stating "JABB" in yahoo groups. I had no idea what it was but as soon as I started checking out the area of the group I knew I had to be a part of it. After which I went on my yahoo groups site and joined not knowing exactly what it was but knew that I had finally found people who were still obsessed about JD and Andrew even though the show was over. After that I kinda got my name added to a newsletter, wrote on a graffitti wall, became a Dye Scout and moved into Dyeland. lios, Lazy Lake is where I reside.

JC: Thanks for the explanation. I'd like to know more about you all. What's your favorite memory from your time in Dyeland or with JABB?

Jess: Okay my favorite memory from JABB is definitely making up a certain JD/Andrew situation, what I would do in those situations. Like if Andrew was arrested I would chain myself to a fence until he was let free. My favorite Dyeland memory is when I firsted moved into Lazy Lake. I had designed a beautiful gazebo so that I could eat peacefully in the beautiful lakeside air. Suddenly out of no where came Andrew. He sat down and we spent the entire afternoon simply chatting about his latest assignments and how much he enjoyed having a quiet, peaceful day at my Lake. Ever since then he has made time to chat with me at least once a week and come to my gazebo to eat my chocolate chip cookies made especially for him every Wednesday evening. :)


I bid good bye to Jess and started walking around Dyeland. The way the people talked Andrew was a character played by an awesome actor named John Dye. But they also spoke about him as if they knew him. I couldn't help but wonder... Was there really an angel living here? Was his existence part of why JABB was able to continue even when a year of uncertainty followed "Touched by an Angel's" finale and no word was available on the future of John Dye's career until only weeks ago? I spoke to another member.


JC: Hey there, Kar. I'm working on a documentary about JABB's upcoming anniversary. For me to do that I think it's vital I know a bit about Andrew. So, what drew you to Andrew?

Kar: I have always liked the idea of the AOD looking like Andrew. I have always expected more of the Grim Reaper sort to show up on my door step...pointing his boney white finger at me and saying "Come here little girl, I want to show you something...". Andrew saying that to me would be something different all together. John Dye saying that to me is something that we shouldn't probably go into here.

JC: Great thanks. So... back to JABB... you have any wish for the other members on their 6th anniversary?

Kar: I hope that all of the JABB members keep having fun with the board and with each other. They are really a one of a kind think tank.


Now I was completely confused. Who were these people? I was directed to Audrey, co-founder of JABB and former co-president.


JC: So you were co-president of JABB for nearly 6 years, what was that like?

Audrey: Oh, it was insane! Great fun, but insane just the same. 11 days of nothing. No JABB. No "good job". No "hi". Then 1 day of "Oh crap! We gotta put out this stupid newsletter." Then 1 day of "No one cares. Let's not do it and see if they notice" (which, they never did). And finally 1 day of running around throwing something together that somehow was always hilarious. But it wasn't all about writing imaginary crap about an imaginary angel. I made a lot of good friends, who I haven't heard from in years, but we were good friends when this crap, I mean J.A.B.B. started. Oh sure, sometimes I see them when I look through the old emails, but nothing new. Some of these people seem to have vanished. I mean, literally, I think they may have dropped off the side of the Earth! I don't know. Maybe Kiwi got ahold of them. Now there's one strange fruit that I'm actually glad I met. Can you imagine how boring it would have been without her here? She's such a good sport. There's no one else we could have picked on like that. Then we wouldn't have had ideas for half our JABBs!! Sad. Truly sad. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm getting off topic. Let's just skip ahead to the next question.

JC: Umm... good idea. What's your single most bizarre memory of JABB or any of its members?

Audrey: Well, over the years we have gotten pretty creative with our April Fool's jokes from Jenni and I getting married to hacking into our own web space! But I think the best was when Tommy Ergo Life made a guest appearance. Ergo, means "that is." It was used to counter John. Dye, life?! Arf Arf, right? Jenni and I went through a bunch of his movies and what not. We took everything we could find then gave Tommy a biography with the opposite of everything John had done. We did things like Father, Father in place of Mother, Mother; instead of ZZ Top we had him in the YY Bottom music video; and we ended it with John Dye get a "LIFE"!!! I thought everyone would know what was going on. I mean, "Best of the DUDS?!" But a few gullible people were very upset. One person was actually laying on the guilt! Saying we were bad people for changing our obsession so quickly. What shocked me the most with this incident was not that people bought into it. That's what we had hoped. What I found most bizarre is that someone had condemned us for changing our minds! I mean, we were two teenage girls. Barely 16 maybe. Isn't that what girls that age are known for?! Changing their minds! It was so much fun though! The emails we got were hilarious. And, we of course let them know that it was just an April Fool's joke ... a few days later. ;)

JC: Geez... As one of JABB's co-founders, did you have any idea it would last this long?

Audrey: Absolutely not! We didn't think anyone would truly care about what two little girls had to say about John. But we came up with the 12 Step program because it was FUN! And we thought a few people would enjoy it. I figured maybe 10 people tops would ever be interested in JABB. I never imagined it would be what it is today.

JC: I bet not! Well... thanks for your time, Audrey!


Audrey had said Andrew was imaginary. Hmm... I decided I needed to speak to the current co-presidents to get to the bottom of this matter. But first I was going to take a week to do some investigating of my own...

Join us next week for the conclusion of Mr. Amory's documentary!


The following portion was not part of the original newsletter. The anniversary issue was intended to be two parts but we never got around to emailing this out before we moved on to the next newsletter. Enjoy!


Hello, Amory here again. Did some research on my own. Had my own stake-out in the capital and discovered:

A. You people have a lot of parties and

B. This Andrew guy, who turns out is real, looks an awful lot like the guy that used to play Doc Hock on that Vietnam show my Dad made me watch. Which I guess is the whole point of your organization.

But to get a fuller picture I went to JenniAnn.


JC: Hello, JenniAnn. Thanks for meeting with me. You've been with JABB since the beginning. Why do you think it's stuck around?

JenniAnn: Well, I think the friendships formed really kept it going. Plus even when we thought maybe John had retired... there was always Andrew. (gets all starry-eyed).

JC: Uh huh. What can you tell me about Andrew?

JenniAnn: Well, he's... he's... <sighing> Perfect. Well, I mean not really. Only God is perfect. But... well... nearly.

JC: Right... Well, now what do you like best about JABB?

JenniAnn: Oh definitely all the friends I made all over the world. And the whole castle thing isn't so bad... Love the lovely neighbor boy...


At this point I remembered Andrew was in fact her neighbor and began to get uncomfortable with the sappiness of the interview. I rushed to my next question.


JC: Any regrets?

JenniAnn: Umm... well...

JC: Yes?

JenniAnn: Perhaps taking Andrew to couple's counseling wasn't my most brilliant scheme but... Umm...

JC: But isn't he like... well, celibate?

JenniAnn: Hey, the commercial was misleading! I thought we'd just sit around, talk about our feelings, and umm drink coffee. Not like, y'know, couples stuff. Just like... why doesn't anyone have friends therapy?!

JC: Right... Well, it's been nice chatting with you.


At that point I rushed to my next interview, hoping for some sanity after that... I got my much needed sanity-fix when I ran into Andrew himself. He kindly agreed to allow me to interview him.


JC: Andrew, this is quite a place you’ve got here. I mean obviously it’s named after John Dye and they all love watching his work but you’ve really maintained a presence here. Why?

Andrew: Well, in my line of work it’s not out of the ordinary to have people get downright upset when they see me coming. I mean, there’s plenty of people who are very accepting and excited but… it’s nice to have a place to go where every body knows your name and they’re always glad you came. (hums “Cheers” theme and smiles)

JC: I’m sure it is. But has there been anything that’s been difficult for you here in Dyeland?

Andrew: Well, sometimes the outpouring of devotion is a little… overwhelming.

JC: Yeah I heard about the couple’s counseling.

Andrew: (laughs) Really that was hilarious. I’m not as flappable as JenniAnn is and it was really funny how much she blushed when she figured things out. But really other than the occasional episode like that, I’ve had so many great experiences here.

JC: Do you have a message to the JABBers on their 6th Anniversary, Andrew?

Andrew: Just that I feel so blessed being able to spend time with them and be in their lives. I’m truly touched by the acceptance they’ve shown me and look forward to more anniversaries. Oh and, of course, that God loves them. And you, JC.

JC: Thanks Andrew both for your time and for that message. Happy anniversary to you and all the members of JABB!



Newsletter 143