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"Alouette"

Hi all, glad to have you with us for yet another exciting issue of JABB.  Well, we think it's exciting anyway!  But then we wrote it so I guess we're kinda biased...  Anyway! 

Since TBAA is no longer in production, we need new "holidays" to help us pass the time.  We used to have issues of JABB devoted to TBAA's premiering in the fall, sweeps periods, and TBAA's spring finale.  Obviously that holiday system no longer works.  So we're constructing a new one!  Below are 9 ideas for potential holidays we could celebrate on JABB.  We plan on picking three and actually celebrating them.  Please take look and if you have a preference, let us know!  Actual dates will be settled later when we have a better idea of what exactly we will celebrate and what months are the most empty.  If you have feedback please email me at this address!  Thanks!

1.  National Toolbelt and Leather Jacket Day
An homage to two of our favorite of Andrew's clothes items.  Everyone wears toolbelts and black leather jackets for the day and at the end we use the tools to make a statue of Andrew, obviously with his toolbelt and jacket. 

2.  Hair Memorial Day
On that day all barbershops and beauty parlors in Dyeland must close, out of respect for John's hair.  Then everyone must make a pilgrimage to Chiwawa's home to visit John's former hair.  Then, at the end of the day, we give Andrew a minor, I repeat, minor haircut and hide the lock at the end of a scavenger hunt.  Whoever finds the lock first gets to keep it and gets a lifetime supply of shampoo and conditioner.

3.  Andrew's Birthday
Obviously everyone presents our favorite AOD with gifts.  Then we have a candle lighting contest.  Whoever can light a candle for every year Andrew's been alive without starting an inferno wins a prize!  In the evening, everyone heads over to Dyeland castle for a Parisian themed birthday spectacular!  If Andrew can't vacation in Paris, we'll bring Paris to him (but not in the hokey "Venice" fashion.)  Speaking of which...

4.  "Venice" Remembrance Day
Who doesn't feel a sting of pain when they remember our poor angel boy doing nothing but walking a dog on this widely disliked episode?  This will be a quiet day of reflection during which people work through their very strong, Andrew-withdrawl emotions still connected to this episode.  Naturally, everyone will also walk dogs.

5.  Annual Take Your Favorite AOD to Work Day
Go on, bring Andrew to the office!  Let Adam take over your science lessons!  Let him bring Table 9 their dinner!  No matter where you work it's gotta be a lot more fun with an AOD at your side.  If your job requires you to wear a uniform, make Andrew wear one too.  And then snap a picture of him cause he looks real good in uniform... 

6.  Commemoration of the Murder Trial that Wasn't
Every year on this day, we'll offer a different version of how that phantom TBAA episode may have played out had it ever actually happened.  Meanwhile in Dyeland, Andrew will host a "Jailhouse Rock" themed party in the temporary jail that will be built once a year for this very special holiday. 

7.  Past Assignments Day
Every year on this day we'll highlight a particular past assignment of Andrew's.  One year we may highlight Abraham Lincoln, another year Erin from "The Pact."  Meanwhile in Dyeland we'll host a "Dress as Your Favorite Past Assignment" dance.  And, no, not everyone can dress as Kate (MDWA) and spend the evening alone with Andrew!

8.  Promotion Day
We'll make an annual holiday of Andrew's promotion to AOD duties!  Festivities will involve celebrating all the AODs of history, music, movies, and prose.  Also, we'll buy up all the grim reaper costumes from costume shops and burn them.  Poor Andrew shouldn't have to put up with that image!

9.  Hide the Scissors Day
This day will be marked by a huge scavenger hunt between the Long Hair Androolers and the Short Hair Androolers.  The first group to find the hidden scissors will get to decide whether Andrew wears his hair long or short for the rest of the year.  Okay...  So maybe we can't force Andrew to change his hair.  But the winning group can make strong suggestions!

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Newsletter 122