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"Maple Leaf Rag"
Hi all, well here we are at
newsletter #120! Writing JABB without having TBAA to inspire us
has been a challenge. So we'd really like to hear from you about
what types of stuff you'd like to see in JABB. If you have any
input for us, just email me and Audrey and I will see what we can
do! We've decided to try and shake things up a bit and try
something we haven't tried yet: fake newspaper articles. It's
worked for "The Onion"! We hope you enjoy them.
Jenni (who can be reached at this email addy)
PS This is the first issue I've been able to send from new AOL account. If you experience any problems (i.e. receive this newsletter multiple times) please let me know! Thanks!
President of Dyeland Overheard to Declare
'I am a Teen-age
By: Janie Dyefan
Andrew's surprising declaration was overheard by several Dyelanders
gathered in Everknow's library where the angel had gone to read a copy
of Mary Pipher's "Reviving Ophelia" lent to him by Lady JenniAnn.
"I was really embarrassed when I
figured out I'd said that out loud,"
explained Andrew. "So I countered with a quick 'Umm...
figuratively speaking.' Because I am, after all, not human,
female, or young."
The angel admitted he was at first put off by the book, partly because he found JenniAnn's notes in the margins distracting. "She had stuff like 'That is so me!' and 'JA hearts Andrew'. But then when I really got into it, I tell you, it was a life-changing experience. All that stuff about girls losing their sense of play and not being themselves in their struggle to be adults. It really made me think."
"I'd expected it to teach me a bit more about adolescent girls. I certainly never expected it to speak to me, a thousands of years old male angel. All I could think about was how I never dance with my umbrella any more. Some people said it made me look like an idiot. And my earring! They said that made me look immature. Well, I liked my earring! And my umbrella."
The President then cut the
interview short, explaining he had a dancing
date with his umbrella. Attempts were made to reach Adam for
comment, to discover if the other resident AOD felt the same.
Unfortunately, he could not be reached but Ted the Turkey did respond
with "Gobble, gobble. Gobble."
Psychologists Openly Admit They are Faking
TBAA's 10th Season
By: Andrea Friend
ST. ANDREW'S, EIRENIKOS--
Dr. Matt Socad and other psychologists at St. Andrew's Hospital
announced today that they have been producing their own TBAA
"We have a patient who kept
channel surfing on Sunday nights, madly
looking for new episodes of her favorite show. We tried to tell
her there simply weren't any more but she wasn't buying it." Dr.
"I mean she was going crazy with the remote control, trying to find the right channel" added Dr. Andrew Johnson. "She almost broke it. Then everyone would have had to actually get up and walk to the TV to change a channel. And that's just stupid."
So the doctors and their team
made a visit to the homes of Andrew and
Adam, begging them to star in their own production of TBAA.
"At first, I thought they were
crazier than their patient," Adam
explained, "And then I knew they were but I figured it would be fun
anyway. So I agreed."
"Originally they just wanted to put us in a big box and have us act in that, like actually act inside the TV, in the hospital TV room. I'm glad they finally got some video cameras, though. Now we actually have scenery. And don't have to stay in a large box" Andrew added.
When asked about the patient's
response, Dr. Johnson expressed his
pride over her improvement. "She really seems to enjoy it.
She did ask where Monica was, however. We told her maybe she'd
make an appearance during Sweeps. Currently we're in negotiations
with Monica about that. I think if we can come up with another
case of mocha latte, we'll have her signed on."