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"Tradition" from "Fiddler on the Roof"
Hi all! JABB turned five on Saturday July 19th. In honor of that occasion, we present the first issue in years to have been written by three of the original co-founders: Audrey, Jenni, and Jarrod.
"YAWWWWN!" Andrew stretched and looked about his room. "6:30?! Why am I up so early? I don't have anyone to take home." He pondered for a moment snug in his bed. "OH YEAH!! I almost forgot: 5 years of people worshiping me! Oh it's great to be me." The angel of death jumped out of bed with the enthusiasm of a two-year old. "I wonder what those girls have planned?" he wondered out loud. He dressed quickly and headed over to the Castle.The castle looked gray and empty with the silhouette of the night still lurking behind it. The sun was beginning to peak over the hills but it was still miles away. As Andrew approached the castle all sorts of ghost stories began to flash in his head but he pushed them away. He had much better things to occupy himself with.
Inside the castle was almost as ghastly as the outside. The old Christmas story seemed truer now than it had before, for truly in this castle, not a creature was stirring. Not even a mouse.
"PRINCESSES?" Andrew yelled, "HELLO! Is anybody home? JENNIANN! AUDREY!" He rushed up to JenniAnn's old bedroom. "Maybe she took a nap in there this morning for old times sake," thought Andrew. Andrew ran up the dark stairs turning on all the lights he could in the process. "JenniAnn!" He screamed as he opened the door but to his surprise the room was empty. Next he ran to Audrey's room. As he threw open the door, Audrey let out a terrible scream.
"WHO?! WHAT? WHY?" she stammered. Then finally, "ANDREW! What the ... ? What are you doing here? It's ... it's ... What time is it?"
"6:38. And 49 seconds."
"Andrew, GO HOME!"
"Where's JenniAnn? I need to know what all you have planned for me today," Andrew said with a wink.
"Planned? We don't have anything planned. It's our day off. Now let me sleep." Audrey rolled over, pulling the blankets over her face. Andrew, much dismayed, turned and left her room. Still, Andrew comforted himself by remembering that it *was* very early. Perhaps Audrey just wasn't in the right state of mind to remember anniversary plans. But there was another person who would never forget party plans.... Unless she had amnesia. Which she had a couple anniversaries ago so who knows! Andrew stopped that train of thought and headed over to JenniAnn's island. She'd moved away from the castle, requested that people not refer to her as princess but lady, and went to the farthest part of Dyeland where she now resided, alone. Andrew would take a boat ride over to see her and get the scoop on the anniversary plans.When he arrived he wound his way through the trees and eventually came to her house. He rang the doorbell three times before she finally answered. When she did it was with a face mixed with puzzlement, annoyance, and something else entirely.
"Hey... Andrew. What brings you to this part of Dyeland?" JenniAnn finally asked after a moment of awkward silence.
"Well, just wanted to see if I could get any hint of the plans for the big day!" Andrew said excitedly.
"Huh? Big day? I don't know what... Oh! Right! Right. Geez, I almost forgot. Today's the day I was going to redo your basement. Vincent doesn't come around that much and now that we have a hotel there's no reason he always has to stay in your basement. So what you think? You want a rec room?"
"A rec room? You think I came over here to inquire about plans for a rec room? On July 19th? It's July 19th and your plans are to start planning a rec room? Are you sure that's all?"
"Well, geez Andrew!" JenniAnn looked pained. "If you don't want one just say so! Listen, I think maybe we should discuss this later. Bye." With that JenniAnn unceremoniously shut her door.
A bewildered Andrew was left standing on the porch. He had thought Audrey's confusion was just that: confusion. Or a joke. He hadn't dreamed that Audrey and JenniAnn had both forgotten JABB's anniversary. His anniversary... His and the Dyelanders. Andrew wasn't conceited. He had no need to have people incessantly praising him. But this seemed wrong... Everyone got together so seldom as it was. First Monica gets promoted. Then he ends up as the sole inhabitant of Dyeland City and now this... Slowly Andrew went back through the forest, got back on the boat, and headed back to Dyeland City. Maybe he'd just call Adam and drink ginger ale after ginger ale after ginger ale. Maybe even throw in some orange juice...
Andrew went back home and placed a call to Adam who ironically wasn't home. He then tried calling other Dyelanders only to find out they were busy gardening. "What is going on? It's JABB's anniversary why doesn't anyone remember that? Have they forgotten all about it? Are they going to forget about ME next?!", Andrew said out loud. He had a look of confusion on his face. He poured himself some ginger ale and sat down. He wanted to do something to remind everyone that it was a special day for all in Dyeland, but he couldn't think of how. Andrew decided that there was one person who was sure not to forget and that was Jarrod as he was there that fate filled night that JABB was created. Andrew wasn't sure if he knew exactly where Jarrod was, but he decided that he would call the last known number he had. "At least it is a place to start" he thought out loud. Andrew picked up the phone and dialed the number and it rang a few times before someone picked up.
"Hello, may I please speak with Jarrod?", Andrew asked.
"Umm......who is this?", asked the person on the other line. The voice sound vaguely familiar, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.
"This is Andrew and I was wondering if you have any clue as to how I might be able to find Jarrod. It has been a long time since I have spoken with him and really need to do so. Can you be of assistance?", Andrew said.
"Well, yes Andrew as a matter of fact I can help you in finding him. He is closer than you think", replied the person on the other line.
"He is? Where is he then? It is imperative that I speak with him!", Andrew said in a bit of frustration. He was beginning to think that this person on the other end of the line had no clue and was just taking him for a ride. Yet that voice still sounded vaguely familiar and he was wracking his brain trying to figure out who this mystery person was.
"May I ask what is your name please?", the reply Andrew got was not helping matters at all.
"Well, I have several names that I go by, so which would you prefer?", said the mystery voice.
"Please, don't answer a question with a question. To whom am I speaking with and can you assist me in locating Jarrod," the frustration in Andrew's voice was becoming quite evident.
"Yes, Andrew, I can assist you in locating him, as I have said before. As far as answering a question with a question, I apologize. But you see I am just having a bit of fun with you as it has been a while since you rang" the mystery voice replied.
Andrew's head was spinning now, "How does this person know it has been a while since I called this number and who is this that is having a joke on me..."
He was about to just forget the whole thing and bid good-bye to this rude person when they said "Andrew it is me, Jarrod. Sorry about that, it has just been a long time since we have spoken and I thought I would have a bit of fun with you. I didn't mean to upset you. So, what can I do for you?".
"Jarrod, is it really you? Wow, I didn't think that I would find you at this number" Andrew exclaimed.
"Yes it is and I just stopped here for a quick visit before I return to Dyeland to see everyone".
"You're coming here, that is good news. Are you staying for a while?"
"Yes, Andrew I am staying. What is going on?" asked Jarrod.
"Well, nothing really at all. I just wondered if you knew what day it is?" Andrew asked.
"No, I have no clue. I know it isn't JenniAnn's birthday because that isn't until Friday".
Oh, no! He doesn't remember either. They all have forgotten about the anniversary!
"Hey Andrew, sorry but I have to go, but I hope to see you later today. Bye".
"Good-bye Jarrod, see you soon". Andrew was distraught because it appeared that everyone forgot about JABB. He scratched his head and wondered what to do next... "That's it!" Andrew thought. I shall throw myself a party. After all, I am the only one that remembers. He began working out a guest list and party supplies. He ran amuck until he finally had all the supplies he needed. He began decorating his basement aka the new rec room.
"Good thing Lady JenniAnn hasn't had her way with this room yet," he thought. When Andrew finished, the room has full of pictures of himself and the founders and other JABB members. He had printed up the first couple issues of J.A.B.B. as well as the anniversary issues and hung them up around the room. He made copies of the Dye Day games JenniAnn had created and had them out and ready to play.
"YES!" he thought. "Tonight we will have the best party in JABB history!!" Anxious to get things rolling, he began calling each Dyeland resident and all the JABB members. One by one he excitedly invited the guests to his surprise party. Unfortunately, one by one they all declined having already made plans.
Andrew looked about his room. Hours he had worked and planned. Hours he had wasted. He sulked, unsure of what to do.
"KNOCK! KNOCK!" someone's fist slammed against the door. "Andrew? You home? Andrew?"
Andrew knew that voice. "ADAM! I'm coming," he screamed. "Finally," he thought, "someone remembered."
"Hey Adam," he said as he opened the door.
"Andrew! Great. I'm glad you're here. I left a few things in the old room and came to pick them up. I'll be right back."
Andrew stared at Adam as he disappeared into the basement. He was overcome with confusion, fear, and a tiny bit of disdain. After a few moments, Adam came back into view. "Andrew! Oh my gosh! How could I have forgotten. It's JABB's anniversary! Oh my gosh! I'm sorry man. Who all is coming to your party?"
"No one? Seriously?"
Andrew just nodded and stood there. Slowly he walked downstairs with Adam following not too far behind. Andrew turned around to see that Adam had stopped off at the kitchen to pick up some ginger ale.
"Well, now there's two people here. Happy anniversary, Andrew. Five years of having a knock-off 12 Step Program named after you." Adam said with a grin.
Andrew and Adam had a fantastic evening talking work, life, friends, and... fans. The next day when a mortified mob of Androolers showed up to apologize for forgetting the anniversary, Andrew happily threw his party but made it clear he did not regret his small party the night before. Sometimes all you need is ginger ale, a soon-to-be rec room, and... Adam.