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"Evening Falls" by Enya

Hi all, sorry for the lateness of this newsletter though we suspect none of you were tearing around your homes, clawing out clumps of hair, and screaming "WHERE IS JABB!?" However, as we realize we have a very diverse group here, such people may be among us. If you were indeed acting as such our deepest apologies for causing you distress. So, first we'd like to offer reasons for our tardiness in the form of a top ten (or top whatever number our overstressed brains can come up with). Then we'll give you tips on how to handle TBAA's impending departure.

Top Ten Reasons this Newsletter is Late

10. We had midterms and were too busy writing essays and buying bluebooks and number 2 pencils to write JABB.

9. We did write a newsletter but, as stressed as we were we forgot what JABB stood for and ended up writing an issue of the John Adams Braintree Bulletin which we promptly emailed to the deans of our schools in an embarrassing emailing snafu.

8. We asked Andrew to write the issue for us but he left to go on assignment without writing so much as one word. The nerve of some angels!

7. We were sidetracked and couldn't help contemplating the recent radical hair changes of both Adam and Andrew. Methinks the AODs are up to something...

6. At least one of us was thrown into some sort of crazed day long 80s flashback. Bring back ALF!!

5. We were busy trying to master Jedi mind control as a last ditch effort to get the TBAA writers to come up with an Andrew goes to jail story line. Don't believe we have mastered the trick? We'll prove it. With in the last five seconds you thought of either a favorite show or song from the 80s. Ha!

4. We had to spend time reconnecting with our inner Androoler and cooing to ourselves "To drool is to live."

3. We were trying to solve the mystery of the amazing disappearing-reappearing facial hair of Andrew. Current theory: Inspired by Clark Kent, he thinks none of us will recognize him with the facial hair and hence stop stalking him around Dyeland or on his assignments.

2. We were busy trying to surreptitiously find out whether Andrew would still be with us post-TBAA.

(Reason number 1 was written by only one of the co-presidents without the okay of the other. We'll let you decide whether it was the work of Audrey or JenniAnn :-)

Okay, well a few weeks ago we had our resident advice columnist give us a few tips on how to deal with TBAA leaving the air. She was helpful but we felt more needed to be said on this issue. Here are more tips. Some actions were actually done by JABB authors, some weren't. You be the judge.

1. Write Andrew a letter expressing your gratitude for the past years and your thankfulness. Do not mail it lest it end up in the Dear Santa/Dear God/Dear Elvis pile.

2. Start hiding select copies of TBAA episodes and promise you won't watch them until September. Then whack yourself on the head a few times. By September you won't remember the episodes and they'll seem like new ones! You also may not remember other things but that's a small sacrifice to make for TBAA, right? :-)

3. Write your personal history with TBAA. How you found the show, why you kept watching it, what it meant to you at various stages of your life. It's just a nice, comforting thing to do.

4. Just run around screaming for a while. No reason really. Just fun.

5. Cry. Or at least if you feel like it, don't feel embarrassed. You won't be the only one.


Newsletter 109